How We Avoid Crisis In Life By Preparing For Death | Judy Butler | TEDxPurdueU

I was born when my mum was 22 and my father was 63. So I grew up with the shadow of my fathers death and the undoubtful certainty that I'd lose him while young. He knew that, my mum knew that, so he prepared me for his death my whole life. As a kid is no fun to hear your father say "Look, when I die, all my documents are here in this briefcase. You just have to open this to solve everything needed." Every month after paying bills, getting his pension or any other important document he would get, he'd put it in that briefcase, and then the same warning: " Mari, don't forget, all the documents are here for when I die. " When I was 24 he started showing first signs of dementia, he aged sooo fast, and my energetic, youthful father was not that anymore 😔 My mum took care of him until the last day of his life, she was the support I couldn't be, since I was living in another state for work. After 6 months of him slowly getting worst, a severe pneumonia took his life. My mum took that briefcase, traveled to me and in 1 day all burocracy was dealt with, cause he left everything prepared for us. He prepared everything for his own death. (our whole life we never liked funerals, that's why my mum traveled to me and not the opposite. He died, he was buried and only then did my mum travel to tell me in person.)

Certainly a life changing opportunity to help. Wonderful gift to understand. Very encouraging speech! I also know Judy well and can tell you she is the real deal. So very caring! David Haynes, Long Term Care Insurance Specialist, Greensboro NC

Generally, a great presentation! My circumstances were different. My mother had power of attorney on behalf of my father, who had Alzheimer's. I asked her one night while were sitting at the kitchen table what the combination was to her safe, in case something should happen to her. She got up and walked away. I asked a very practical question. I have always told my parents that their money is theirs. I have no designs on it. From that day on, I have never concerned myself with her financial matters, nor with end-of-life wishes nor funeral arrangements. I wash my hands of those matters with her, and I simply keep my occasional visits with her in the moment, and all is well. So, not every family's children can play an involved role regarding end of life and after they pass on. It's best not to force a cube into a circle, as they say. You offered, that's all you can do.

Dr. Butler I loved your TedX presentation. I am going through this now and hope to hear you again soon.

What a wonderful and much needed discussion. Rest In Peace to her Dad. 🙂❤️👍🙏

Im not afraid of my own death but of the ones i love. I think i cant bear living without them.

Wow, what an inspirational speech, life changing.

Thank you, Very informative advice…In addition to the regular legal docs….I’ve even given my attorney POA to set up a safety deposit box where he is storing the legal docs & letters to my children. I wish my father had done a personal letter before he passed away. Should I meet an untimely death with no time to say goodbye I wanted my children to have personal goodbye letters including life advice about difficult life experiences & regrets/mistakes I made so they can avoid them. I’m only 53yrs “young” 😂 & hope to live another 30 yrs “God Willing” 🙏but it’s never too early to plan so that you’re death is easier for your loved ones especially your spouse & children.❤

Thank you for your wisdom Sista, an amazing talk 🙏

This is so insightful. How we overlook planning for death and yet, it always comes when we least expect

Very good talk. Thank you Judy.

Great Information. Thank you

This video shows me how is the life in a different sense, right! 👍🏼

Learned something new n also something which is very different from the topic is discussed here. ..thanq so much🙏🙃

Very nice. One should always be prepared for death and do good. This world is short lived

Very good topic ❤️❤️❤️

Try to add English subtitles on videos please 😞😞

Brilliant!

I didn't know that this conference can be motion captured! ;-)

Great!