If Cashiers Behaved Like Self-Checkouts

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I always love when Ryan clearly does a video on something that actually happened to him. It's very cathartic, I decided.

As a self-checkout assistant I can confirm that I would rather be anywhere else than at self-checkout.

I'm glad that we finally got the prequel to "The First Guy to Ever Shoplift".

Ryan behind Ryan staring at Ryan is the most Ryan thing ever.

If an evil ai hacked every machine in the world It would leave self checkouts unchanged.

Buying cat litter: “Please place your item in the bagging area.” Places it there. “OMG it’s too heavy! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!” Scans second box of litter. “Please place your item in the bagging area…”

Self-Checkout: Makes you go through a dozen questions about charities and such before letting you do your transaction. Also, Self-Checkout once your done: "Get out! Take your stuff and leave! Move it! Move it! Move it!"

I've never used one of these, but recently I had the opportunity to view some other people who were not me using them, and there's these traffic lights on top of them, and for almost every single one of them the red light came on and they had to stand there awkwardly and wait for a store employee to arrive, which sort of defeats the whole purpose of self check-out entirely, I've decided.

the other day I was scanning my groceries at the self checkout, and after scanning the yogurt I realized it would be most stable underneath the peanut butter instead of on top so I briefly rearranged those two items in the bag. when I clicked the pay button the register shut down completely with that "help is on the way message" and when the attendant came over it displayed in VERY LARGE LETTERS "Has This Item Been Scanned" and played a video at half speed of me rearranging the yogurt and the peanut butter while I and the attendant waited for about 6 years for it to be over. all that to say, this video triggered the same primal rage in me

I'm hideous AND untrustworthy!

One of my favorite little scenes in Sherlock was John arguing in the store with the chip and pin machine (British self checkout apparently) as it can't read his card, tells him unexpected items in the bagging area, etc. as he gets more and more wound up. He comes back empty handed, and Sherlock is like, "Where are the groceries?" John: "I had a row with the chip and pin machine." Most relatable scene in a TV show ever.

I feel like there’s enough material here for another 5 skits. Don’t even get to having to go through a labyrinth of options at the end: no to donation, no to bags, no to loyalty card, no to proceed… damn it!!! (And thank you for this one: cathartic).

It's the nuance of the mustache in the Ryanverse....the supervisor's mustache was present of course, but it was not large so he clearly was not the boss of the store .. it was more like a mid level stache

The whole "put item in bagging area" and then "unexpected item in bagging area" is definitely a long forgotten trauma for me. What do you want from me, computer?! It's one of the reasons I started despising them and don't use self checkout.

Oh yeah. I remember attending a lot of meetings when self-checkout systems were being designed. My contribution to those meetings was always "That idea could easily backfire."

“Whoops I didn’t put my bag in the bagging area.” *HEAVY BREATHING*

“I think we’re gonna need the assistance of somebody that would rather be anywhere else but here”😂😂😂😂😂😂

My local shop has the message at the end: "Please take your receipt and shopping" but due to the accent or something, it always sounds like "Please take your receipt and shuv it". I hope they never change.

I can't believe that I have to: scan items, bag items, AND pay full price. I'm doing the cashier's job, so I should automatically get 25% off!!