Why Narcissist Never Says “I am Sorry”

I’ve officially watched too many videos on narcissism. I no longer care what the narcissist’s motivations are or what their inner world is like and how I am only an object in their world. I was physically abused, sexually abused, and psychologically abused as a child. And for that reason I don’t want other people to suffer, people are people, they are not THINGS. Anyone who thinks they are, you need to stay as far away from them as possible. So tired of empathy disappearing from society in general… Empathy is the glue that bonds us - without there is no point, it is just a dance of the soulless otherwise.

Oh they'll say they're sorry, they just don't mean it. Real life example. After i exposed my wife's 3-4 man affair and hard drug use, and STD spreading, she said "I'm sorry that i made you feel like less than a person, and worthless." I replied "The betrayal hurt really bad, but you never made me feel worthless, I know my worth and you can not take that away from me" After i said that, she got mad and started accusing me of all kinds of crap. See, she wanted to know that she had power over me, and when i showed her that she didn't. She freaked. It wasn't an apology, it was fishing.

That part hits hard: Your pain is their healing. Your crucifixion is their resurrection.

My Narc never said he was sorry.. then months or years later he’d say.. I’ve apologized over and over but you’re just not forgiving me.. in reality he never once said he was sorry..

wow. this is the best summary, matching roughly 95% of my four-year experience with a “fake friend”.

When someone says "you need me" I hear "I need you"

I rarely received apologies from my NPD ex, but when I did, he'd say, "Sorry for the way things went". No specifics, no accountability- as if the universe was responsible for what he did or said instead of him. Always just empty words meant to pacify.

I had a therapist who couldn't say sorry. On one occasion she accused me of being late, when I wasn't. When it transpired it was her mistake she offered no apology. As time went on it became apparent she was incapable of saying sorry for anything. When I put this to her she wrote an email with a list of sorries, like a child doing it's homework. It had no sense of authenticity. I should have left her after the first instance but in my naivety I assumed a therapist would be more mature than this.

Classic quote of a Narc, when you call them out on hurtful behaviour. I can not make you feel anything It’s not what I say or do, it’s how you react It’s because you are jealous It’s because you are insecure

The narc I know gave a superficial apology then turned around and demanded an apology from me. I was flabbergasted.

My narcissistic husband embezzled from his workplace. I was told by him that I created him to be who he was when he made that choice. I am still in the process of divorcing him. People have told me to stop listening to videos on narcissism. Why can't people understand that learning about this disorder that he was diagnosed with, to be the best defense in this never- ending divorce process?

People don't need anybodies sorry, but changed behavior towards them. Sorry is for washing your dirty consciousness, and changed behavior is for helping you and them heal and get over the wounds you created and they allowed. Most of the time people say sorry like it is just something nice to say and move on the same way.

After nearly 20 years of being a slave to a covert narcissist, your detailed description here, particularly their sense of entitlement is frighteningly accurate.

Mine says ”I’m sorry you feel that way”.

They SAY sorry but they are NOT sorry. They say I'm sorry you're going through this or that but don't forget you did this or said that...That is how they say sorry. They are sorry you react to their abuse and manipulation. Deep down it's a way of showing you who you're dealing with. It's soul crushing if it's a sibling who does it with such calm & arrogance.

Amazingly accurate in describing someone I was once married to. I had no idea what a narc was until 2 years ago when he called me one. He was fake nice, and funny thing was, he would say "sorry" to other people when it was TOTALLY unnecessary, really weird. But for actual wrong things he did to me - name calling, stealing my money, not doing chores except when it can be seen by others - he never thought he was wrong. He was above the law. Thank God for videos like this one, helping me to heal, and move on. Without Jesus in my life, I would have been destroyed.

My ex said he’s sorry multiple times . He knows how to play the game , and if he needs something in return

They never say I am sorry.They use other words like ''I know I made a mistake ''(I got caught ) ''I know I failed you, '' (as if we don't know) Then inevitably that "but" will follow along with the excuse in which they victimize themselves because they are about to blame you ( the blame shifting ). And if you are not aware you end up defending yourself and you may even end up thinking that you are so lucky to still have them talking to you.

Perhaps the greatest 35 or so minutes about narcissism you can show to a layman audience to prevent narcissistic abuse.

Sounds very much like a highly functioning, successful sociopath. They must share common traits. They are predatory - even in their non-blinking stare and will stop at nothing to manipulate their (next) victim. No remorse. Zero empathy. They shatter your life but turn the tables and place the blame on you in devaluation. Sadly, you (victim) cannot see it coming. What charm they possess! The manipulation is stronger than one can imagine. Decades later and videos like this one provide such insight. Thank you, Professor.