The disappearance of men | Christine Emba

Here’s a few thoughts… (from a 63 year old man). Set aside gender. Practice being a good human. Let go of the need to dominate. Let go of the negative connotations of being a man. We are here for a short visit. Practice harm free living. Embrace love of life and all things living. Turn away from influencers, following any influencer/ guru too close will create a copy at best. Develop a practice of turning off the outside noise to hear what comes from within. Discover what sparks for you. Bring it to life and live passionately. Do not believe all of the nonsense that is being pushed at you from all directions. We all have the equal right to live in peace. It is up to each of us, (humans), to take responsibility for our actions and create a reality worth living.

as a man this is what i want --> A Job. --> Friends.

Something not mentioned here: the advent of social media and dating apps have not only changed the social dynamic between men and women but also changed the source of 'fulfillment' for men and women. Many men don't get fulfillment from these platforms and actually feel rejected by them, which has a significant impact on mental health

True strength lies in emotional vulnerability – the ability to process feelings and ask for help. Modern leadership isn't about dominance but collaboration and empowering others. We need to redefine strength beyond physicality. It's about standing for what's right, admitting mistakes, and being emotionally present. It's time to celebrate the diverse ways men can be strong, caring leaders without a restrictive, outdated definition.

Honestly it takes some bravery for creators to talk about this because of the backlash they'll no doubt receive. I can only respect her willingness to do it anyway. Gratitude for your care.

The isolation and loneliness for men is real. Thank you for addressing these issues. We need to address these issues.

Top 10% of men have never had it easier to thrive. Bottom 90% have never had it harder. This applies economically and socially.

As a 24 year old guy, the world is so f* up that it looks useless to think about having a family in future. I had to quit my studies just after 10th grade and work to support my family. But my younger sister is a graduate and now aiming for masters. Now where should i complain about my lost teenage life. I'm working a low paying job with lots of debts and still not owning my own house. Everything, just looks faded.

She successfully identified some of the issues men face but completely missed the mark when it comes to the reasons why

We are at a unique point in history where men are villainized for what their stereotype was, and yet are expected to uphold the stereotype. Don't be toxic and controlling (ok cool), but you're still responsible for the financial well being of the family. Be a leader, but don't lead. I'm sure the time will come soon when all the expectations are gone, and the family unit will function together without shame or blame, but we aren't there yet.

It's better to not care too much about other's opinions on your masculinity and just focus on your own individual path to happiness. Write the book you want to read, make the music you want to hear, film the movie you want to see. Through those efforts you'll find your community and purpose. Develop a talent. Find a trade. Focus on fitness, finance and faith. The less noise you take in through media, YouTube included, you'll clear your mind and find peace in yourself. Masculinity has been narrowly defined in recent times due to cultural shifts. It's our turn to make the rules and redefine masculinity on our own terms.

As soon as I come of age, it felt like my manhood was something I should feel ashamed about. I love being a man, but yet feel like I should somehow apologise for all of the wrongdoings of bad men from the past. Even the very topic of our struggles with mental illness and suicide are met with a kind of ambivalence and a general lack of empathy. And yet, we are still told we benefit from male privilege at every angle.

"Safe areas for men... the industrial sector", you mean the workplaces workers fought hard to escape since they were incredibly dangerous and paid so little that their families could hardly get by? Yeah, such a shame they're gone.

There is a thin line between male protection and domination, the same between female care and control. It is essential to be aware of this line and be mindful of communication of personal boundaries. Maybe this way, the couples don’t fall into the trap of games and fighting. The balance is a key I think 🔐

The root of the problem is economics. Men and boys without agency is a ticking time bomb. In history, organised young men have been the most unstoppable force. We are already seeing a coalescing of interests, politics and resurgent masculine thinking. The current era has bought itself to its own end.

Chris Rock said it best. Only women and children are unconditionally loved. Men have to earn their love. An average man will always have a harder time than an average woman in finding love and that includes self love. What we are seeing is the averages play out how men and women are not equal in how they are valued. Women beat out men every time. Only exceptional men stand out because by definition they are above average. And by definition average men are the majority of men.

Not just men that had no male figure, but also had a distorted projection from their bad moms

People, not just men, need good friends and family. Community that you can be physically there for, much more than something you get online. I believe this is what can fix a lot of people's problems/issues.

I’ve listened to a lot of Jordan Peterson and have never heard him say that the world has done anyone wrong. His focus is on personal responsibility, not blaming external influences for one’s problems.

42 year old male here and I'm probably the most isolated i've ever felt. I am really grateful that things are slowly changing for the better in society. But I really feel like i have no importance in the future state and no ability to contribute in a meaningful way. I used to feel okay about myself. I tend to cross the street if I see a woman because I don't want to make her feel unsafe by passing by her by. I rarely make eye contact with women in situations in public where I need to interact directly - e.g buying something from a store / a coffee etc. If i do talk to a woman in conversation, i'm incredibly concious about my physical size, so I try to hunch or find a way to make myself smaller because i'm worried i'll make her feel unsafe. I feel incredibly uncomfortable and self conscious about my gender and my associated identity. I work in a wonderfully diverse company, but one which consistently overlooks straight white males for promotion and career growth to an extreme. I'm a new minority. But rather than a minority that might have initiative and effort to support it, I'm being slowly and systematically erased. Seeing all of the prejudice and sexism my mum experienced first hand and the racism my best friends experienced as I grew up and the frustration and sadness they experienced. I made a point for my adult life to advocate for an equal environment to live in, to support and be as much of an ally as I'm able to. But I'm kinda.....nothing now. My gender identity has slowly been leeched out to a point where I feel like a husk with no idea of who I am supposed to be now.