BSW ICB autism training: Masking: autistic women present differently to autistic men

Normally I find I overshare waaaay too much when I’m hit with a question that I’m not ready for. I haven’t learned how to filter myself or lie, and then I think about how much I share am I’m exhausted, embarrassed and I’m angry and irritated that I told someone too much

Late diagnosed middle-aged AuDHD male here, just a personal note to add that while my instinct is also to resort to the mental flowchart for anticipatory discourse I realized in adolescence that, due to the heavy burden of masking and my ADHD tendencies, I often just didn't have the energy or patience to rehearse as I would have preferred; instead I found that unscripted and improvised conversation could be a stim in itself. This may have helped me in terms of adapting to neurotypical work requirements at customer service roles but ultimately it made my descent into burnout a more protracted process, generally an annual occurrence.

Thank you for this. My school wanted to test me as a child, but my parents refused. I have struggled with RSD forever, and finally got an ADHD diagnosis after graduating university. That got lost along the way in my various medical files underneath all the anxiety and depression interventions. I have to wonder if I'd been born 20-30 years later, I'd have had the right support. Striving to be not just normal but "better than" to keep up with my acheivement-oriented family has led to a crushing cycle of overextension and burnout. Recently, a teacher from my high school expressed her surprise that I hadn't had more success in life. I was such a good student! Unfortunately, my "awkwardness" never passed, and every basic social skill has been hard-won. I've been a target for bullying or ostracization in several workplaces. Or maybe that's just anxiety from past experiences making me paranoid. In my forties, I've learned that things are calmer inside of me if I take on less. This, of course, disappoints my family, but I just have to live with that. Thanks again for the validation. Peace and hugs!

We are 10 (ten) seconds in and the presenting psychologist casually mentions non-binary people as if we exist? LIKE Really refreshing to see mental health professionals beginning to catch up with the discourse within the autistic community. We shouldn't need it, but validation from a professional source does go a long way in this culture, and can help make much-needed shifts in how autism is perceived/engaged with among autistics and allistics alike. Thanks!

5:19 I don’t share my special interests with anyone, except my husband. I just assume no one else cares. Blanket statements like this aren’t correct in all cases.

Wow finally some sense about what it’s like being a late diagnosed person with autism trying to navigate health care It’s a daily struggle

Thank you

I'm really good at masking too. I was struggling so much with socialising in school and I felt so alone in my own skin because it felt like no one thought I was good enough. This video is very important because Autistic people are hearing so many invalidating comments about their Neurotype because they don't fit they stereotypical way of seeing Autism. We have a different Neurotype and everyone should understand this and don't try to make us conform and change.

5:35 what do you mean by this? That we aren’t good friends? That we don’t recognize when someone isn’t really our friend? That we don’t reciprocate friendship or know how to have relationships? Please explain.

14:35 - very much so for eye contact. Tip of nose or ears are close to the eyes but not looking into peoples eyes. As to feelings, yes - feelings are annoying and have to be suppressed and hidden.

5:06 you mean what the neurotypical expect us to say. 😒

The first damn sentence in this video is "Many autistic people do not present in this stereotypical way very often these are females, non-binary people and often some young males." The guy in the video is not a young man, the comments to the video is from several (including myself) older men that present this way and have self awareness enough we can identify even the trauma part and you wonder why we are self erasing, you just erased us with the first comment in this video, how can you be getting it right and so very very traumatising wrong at the same time that your video should be reported for being harmful to any "older" man that watch it.

i find this stuff so triggering i have ment many genuinely diagnosed autistic women who present far more similarly to the men. there seems to be some resistance to the idea that like a large number (the vast majority) of genetic disorders have skewed sex ratio. that misdiagnosis can actually lead to harm as women or men as those treatments/interventions that are useful for autism are not for other neurodevelopmental or psychiatric disorders. that this is sometimes the result of people seeking diagnosis for a less stigmatised disorder (bpd has worse press and it really should not. people with bpd score high on very basic autism scales, has to be teased apart). there are far more women with bpd and in my mental health journey i have found them to be very compassionate and wonderful people. that tik tok autism self diagnosis is destroying the hope of those with a genuine diagnosis to be taken seriously. everyone wants to join the cool kids club. it is a cause of great suffering if you actually have autism. that autism is a disorder not an identity. the neurodiversity movement is based on a term invented by a sociologist who knew nothing about autism. that the nd movement had led to people trying to shut down conferences where well meaning clinicians (ot, psychologists, neuroscients). some of us want help for our suffering, not delusion. that the nd movement had led to death threats and pile ons on twitter on the parents of low functioning kids for suggesting that perhaps being nonverbal and banging your head against the wall is not an identity. the dsm 5 is actually pretty good (though rubbish for other things) with autism. its easy to tell an autistic woman as they are far more like autistic men than is suggested. tik tok autism or another condition is quite different. i have worked with top autism researchers (not one myself) but these are things they have said. perhaps they wont say them publicly so they wont get cancelled.

There is no different presentation of autism, in females. It’s an oft repeated falsehood, based on nothing. The insinuation is that girls are being missed, while males are being diagnosed, which is also a falsehood. The ratio isn’t 1:1.

Seems "autism" these days means indistinguishable from "neurotypical" with "high-masking" excuse.