Sensory sensitivities. Shutting down pain as a coping mechanism.

Published 2024-07-02

My name is Xanthe Wyse.

Not sure what the fluff was in my hair (didn't notice until watched video back to make notes). Didn't expand on in this video on more sensory stuff related to hair, as went off on tangents.

This video is unscripted and was trying to get out some thoughts about how I have a fluctuating sensory profile and I usually shut down pain (physical and psychological). It's something that happens automatically, as a survival and coping mechanism.

I have multiple psychiatric diagnoses and it's a complex interaction. Clinicians say that it's the post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, diagnosis that affects me most. Then bipolar disorder. Then social anxiety (currently mild).

My clinically significant autism spectrum features (pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified PDD-NOS) may contribute but aren't really a huge part of my complicated clinical picture.

I've written more nuance in my memoir, 'Bipolar Courage: Are You Sure You're Not Autistic?'
www.soarpurpose.com/books.html

I am very sensitive sensory-wise (touch, hearing, smell etc) yet I usually shut down pain to the extreme. I can feel pain but I might not show it outwardly. Also, I can dissociate out of pain, temporarily.

Had a very painful massage today. I don't really realise how much pain and tension are in my muscles until the deep tissue massage. Very typical with post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD.

I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a pain disorder, for a few decades. Mainly myalgia (muscle pain).

Massage therapist said the tension today was all muscles, especially the glutes, after doing some more challenging physical activity (mountain climbing). I usually hold tension more in my glutes and hips and shoulderblades.

I have had some very painful surgeries, including on my lip (A large wedge was cut out of my lip, full depth, for skin cancer, while I was awake). Dissociation is a coping mechanism but it's not very helpful if driving etc. Dissociation is one of the main reasons I have restrictions with driving.

Been extra fatigued lately and I find it therapeutic to use deep-pressure massage (usually self-massage) to help with sleep etc. Even if it's initially painful.