If Chocolate Ads Were Honest | Honest Ads

502,826
342
Published 2022-04-12
What if chocolate companies like Hershey's, Nestle, Mars, and others were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

SUBSCRIBE HERE: goo.gl/ITTCPW

Join us Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays at 1pm EST for brand new Cracked shows and series!

CLICK HERE for more HONEST ADS:    • If Car Commercials Were Honest - Hone...  
CLICK HERE for more YOUR BRAIN ON CRACKED:    • 5 Movies That Become Insane If You Sw...  
CLICK HERE for WE REMADE ZACK SNYDER’S JUSTICE LEAGUE FOR ONLY $20:    • We Remade Zack Snyder's Justice Leagu...  
CLICK HERE for more LONG STORY SHORT(ish):    • Explaining All The Saw Movies (Saw I ...  
CLICK HERE for more CANONBALL:    • 5 Spider-Man Storylines Too Hot For T...  

Get more of this in the One Cracked Fact newsletter at cracked.com/newsletters!

SOURCES:
www.globenewswire.com/en/news-release/2021/05/25/2…
www.bbc.com/news/business-51604345
www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2019/business/hers…
www.thechocolatejournalist.com/blog/fair-trade-cho…
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/mar/25/choco…
www.consumeraffairs.com/news/cheap-chocolate-candy…
splinternews.com/corporate-america-is-conspiring-t…
www.huffpost.com/entry/chocolate-craving-pms-men-v…
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6558775.stm
vertavahealth.com/cocaine/mentally-physically-addi…
theweek.com/tucker-carlson/1009278/tucker-carlson-…
www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/sep/13/chocol…

Roger Horton: Jack Hunter
Fairly Compensated Employee: Jordan Breeding
Chocolate Lady: Anna Breeding
Sexy Chocolate Animator: Pablo Hernan Blua
Writer: Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
Director: Jordan Breeding
Art Director/Assistant Director: Andy Newman
Director of Photography: Dave Brown
Editors: Jordan Breeding, Dave Brown
Sound: Mike Schoen

Cezary's Twitter: twitter.com/ostrichson
Jordan’s Twitter: twitter.com/The_J_Breeding
Jordan's YouTube Channel: youtube.com/@Drjordanbreeding
Dave’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/deforestbrown/

00:00 - Sexy Chocolate Ad
00:53 - If Chocolate Was Honest
04:32 - Still Good!

#Chocolate #Hershey #Nestle

All Comments (21)
  • @kdot4068
    The person who does the writing for these skits deserves a Nobel Prize in writing.
  • @steamfans
    The factory employees in Hershey Pennsylvania literally rioted over low wages back in the day
  • When I was a teenager I worked at a local candy store, where everything was made on site and they encouraged us to try everything so we could tell the customers how good it was. They were right, the chocolate at that place was INCREDIBLE and for about a year afterward all commercial chocolate just tasted like brown crayons.
  • @Toberumono
    Actually, one of the largest studies about how chocolate is good for you wasn’t published by a chocolate company (directly or indirectly). It was published by a guy trying to make a point about how easy it was to get a fraudulent paper published. Sadly, the demonstration worked far too well. Edit because people cannot read the replies with the source: John Bohannon’s “study” called, “Chocolate with high Cocoa content as a weight-loss accelerator” is the study I’m referring to.
  • @Jalbesbe
    I love how they get the point out about almost all chocolate is farmed using slavery, but technically not slavery because they are paid, except worse than slavery because they are paid so little they can't meet there basic needs and often many kick the bucket.
  • @ozziefern2738
    I love that Jordan gets his wife to be in these. I really hope that whole family is massively monetarily successful, I enjoy the fuck out of these
  • Is there any chance you could do a straight up "If Nestle ads were honest"? Because Nestle is just the worst.
  • There's an easy way to reduce chocolate intake - just switch to high chocolate chocolate. When there's less milk and sugar in the stuff, you will eat much less. I find that 75% chocolate is the sweet spot for me, pun intended. If that doesn't help, try 99%, I guarantee you will not be able to eat more than a small piece of that.
  • @MarionStevensJr
    As always, these are pure gold. How about doing one about the music industry? Actually,there's enough shady business practices there for an entire series.
  • @chadnorris8257
    I love that she's sitting on the counter. That is a mood.
  • Do you love society and all the things you enjoy about it? Well, let me tell you all the immoral, disgusting things that happens in reality that makes your fantasy a dream come true.
  • @mtn_sivliu
    This is pure gold. Thanks Horton for curing my chocolate needs, at least for today.
  • Did we ever get a Horton Honest Ad "If Cracked Were Honest"? That'd be pure chocolate bliss!
  • @Mobri
    I always thought that US chocolate smelled faintly "barfy" but just thought it was a wire crossed in my brain. Thanks for the validation, Horton.
  • @JJGeneral1
    We need a “if amusement parks were honest” set. There’s more than one part to them.
  • @julesrules7297
    I taught my employees about "chocolate flavored" candy now that Easter candy is back. They didn't know why, but they hated that stereotypical Easter "chocolate". Hard same.
  • @Lolwutdesu9000
    I enjoyed this, as a European, as its partly true for us too. Unfortunately for you yanks cross the pond, your chocolate has probably had more treatment than a Pirelli tyre. 😂
  • I seriously stopped this video 1/2 way through cuz I remembered I still have some chocolate in the freezer....I'll be right back! The grocery store had a 10 for $10 on thr Aero flavored 105 gram bars! Calories? Who gives a shit when I'm getting my fix! Now, back to Roger!
  • @Julia-lk8jn
    Yay, sources of information listed! Love you guys. Honestly, if food designers can come up with a convincing imitation of chocolate that can be produced without destroying forests somewhere in Africa, then I'm all for it.