Emotionally unavailable parents
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Published 2024-03-15
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All Comments (21)
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Can confirm. Oh, and Tip: Don't try to get confirmation or closure from these people later in life. They're goin' to the grave floatin' down that river in Egypt. Denial.
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"After all i've always had to work to be loved" OOF
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"I learned to think ahead"
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"Emotional bread crumbs"... taste great. As emotionally malnourished people, how would we even know how being emotionally satiated is supposed to feel? Learning to reparent oneself, to give oneself comfort, acceptance, encouragement >sustenance<, seems to be helping many.
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Notice every shift in your mood or tone
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“Perfection is the only way I think I’m worthy of being loved” DAMN that one was a dagger to the heart
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Oh dear... This hits home....
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That first one lol. It makes texting/messaging hell. I could deplete my social battery for an entire day on a 1 hour dm chat because of how much energy I expend trying to read the other person's mind through their stickers and punctuation marks 😭 and then I draft and redraft every message in case I turn them off or cross a line. Fucking tiring man, I don't know how to turn it off.
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I always wondered why peoples tones and moods affected me so damn badly ….any shift and I was anxious….now I know why 😢- TY for this video xx
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I love how you deliver these lines while nonchalantly doing everyday things. When trauma and unhealthy coping techniques are the everyday while growing up, they don’t feel as shocking as they should be when you’re an adult.
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My mom was busy with trying mostly unsuccessfully to emotionally regulate herself. I was walkong on eggshells and i ended up being an addict for most of my life 15 to 30 i got clean 09 02 2022 and i am doing a TON of work to grow into a safe person for myself and my kids. I love your channel ❤
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I always wondered why I immediately crack a self deprecating joke after a compliment or downplay my achievments. Like “oh no, I just got lucky” . Wow
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It’s an exhausting way to go through life. I’m doing my best to love and care for myself first. ✌️❤️
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I was today years old when I learned that my parents were apparently emotionally unavailable 😅 I mean my dad was just absent, so ok. But I guess my mother’s instability, anger outbursts and screaming at the top of her lungs amounted to more than I thought. 🤔
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Yep, that's me. I don't even react to breadcrumbing because there was no breadcrumbing. I found people being nice to me suspicious at best.
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This short is so spot on, the only think I’ll disagree with is that not everyone becomes a perfectionist. You either become a perfectionist or an underachiever. I read somewhere (and I believe this true) that if there is anyone in your life that does care or support you, like a grandparent, aunt, neighbors parent etc, you become an overachiever. If you literally having no one in your corner you become an underachiever.
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That bread crumb one hit hard 👀👀
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most days i don't feel it's worth it to live like this. i pray that meditation helps. staying away from drugs and my family helped a lot too. but also left life feeling empty and meaningless.
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Dang. You really nailed it! Painful but true.
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This is so true unfortunately. I learnt that I have to earn my parents' love and that they will love me only if I'm perfect.
