The Hobbit is Not Very Good: An Unexpected Analysis - Part 1: An Unexpected Journey

As a note: the contract that Bilbo has to sign is essentially a contract of employment; it is saying that Bilbo is entitled to payment as a result of a successful completion of the mission.

My personal headcanon is that "Rings of Power" was just a fever dream from one of the Orks at Minas Tirith, before he got flatened by a giant stone.

One thing I really hated about these movies is the amount of times the company equips themselves in various cool armor, only to immediately discard them for the actual fight.

Out of the three movies, the first one is probably my favourite, mainly because it feels kinda smaller scale and personal at many moments.

I had always thought that the Hobbits "racial bonus" is to be magically uninteresting. If someone were to walk into a room, the Hobbit will the last person noticed despite not trying to hide. This would be an very useful attribute for a burglar. This kind of explains the goblins just leaving him behind, Gollum not seeing Bilbo next to the fallen goblin, Gandalf not noticing Bilbo missing until the dwarves were safe, and finally Bilbo running towards the orcs to save Thorin at the end.

Lukewarm defence of the Elrond offering to let Bilbo stay scene: the reason this scene is not only different but necessary is that Bilbo’s fundamental arc is learning to appreciate the adventure and bonding with the Dwarves. Gandalf initially attempts to lure Bilbo on the basis that he was a young boy who wandered the woods looking for signs of ELVES. Elrond’s offer is exactly what Bilbo has always wanted, to get out of the Shire and meet the Elves but without the danger and potential death awaiting him at the mountain. Bilbo’s choosing to carry on is him turning his back on his original desire because he has bonded with dwarves and respects their quest as something honourable that he would sacrifice his own wants. Each chance to turn back offers him something different and each choice to carry on reaffirms the direction of his arc.

The problem with Thorin finally gaining respect for Bilbo after the pine tree incident is a problem because that's what the whole Mirkwood spider ordeal is supposed to be

"Blunt the Knives" and "The Misty Mountains Cold" were the best things to come out of these movies.

If you are this critical of Frodo being shoehorned into the story I can't wait to see your take on Legolas later on :D

The thing about the inconsistent writing is that Peter jackson was writing the script on set. I put the blame on the studios rushing the heck out of the hobbit and I imagine this is the best Jackson could’ve done in the situation.

"Thorin appears to be frustrated with Bilbo because he keeps endangering himself and the company, seemingly forgetting that a goddang mountain they were climbing literally just came alive and started punching other mountains." 1:44:33 definitely my favorite line to this point...and there are a lot of really good ones. There's no better form of critique in terms of crappy art etc than to simplify the truth of the action in a humorous form. So top marks in that, lad

The goblins of the Misty Mountains technically are a different race of goblins from the goblins encountered in Moria in LOTR. According to Tolkien, "orc" and "goblin" are synonyms. They are used interchangably. So we see multiple races of orcs in the books/films. There are the Moria orcs, and the Misty Mountain orcs, the Dol Guldur orcs, and the Gundabad orcs, all of which are distinct from each other. I do not blame you for misunderstanding this one, because it is a common mistake made by even the most hardcore fans of Tolkien's works (and the movies especially make it confusing by only using the term "goblin" when referring to Moria and Misty Mountain orcs). But that's the explanation. There actually are many different species of orcs, and thays why they have different lifestyles.

I like that you mentioned the unreliable narrator aspect of the movie because it’s also touched on in-fiction that the account of the hobbit may not be entirely accurate so seeing that was a good acknowledgment

Since Thror was carrying a ring of power, he was addled with the effects of gold sickness. He was not corrupted into a wraith because Aule the smith made dwarves resistant to evil inherently. This is probably why the bloodline was hinted to be prone to corruption. Although this doesn't explain Thorin later. Nor is it firmly established. Just an outside interesting lore tidbit.

One small thing I found disappointing in this movie is that none of the dwarves have colored cloaks. They were color-coded in the book. :( That was one more thing that made Thorin special, if I recall. He didn't have a color partner.

Its wild that Elrond is so casual about the sword his great grandfather fought Balrogs with that had been lost 7000 years ago in lands now under the sea turning up at his door.

"The Hobbit is Not Very Good" Compared to Rings of Power it's a masterpiece.

Seeing the plain text of the script of Gandalf's part makes me more amazed at how incredible Ian McKellen is at acting.

OMG you’re right about the Unexpected Party scene. If they removed the opening prologue, it really would have been an unexpected party for the audience as well! I can’t believe they didn’t think of that!

i love how the one common denominator in all these hobbit reviews is how great of a choice martin freeman is. if i starred in a movie series that was generally disliked but everyone unanimously agreed i was one of if not the best parts of it i would get such a god complex i wouldn't know how to act