Why don't we develop IMMUNITY to narcissists?

Am I the only one who thinks that human psychology basics should be taught in schools worldwide as much as we know now

My immunity is knowledge. I never considered that some people can read you well but not be empathic or compassionate. I assumed everyone was coming from the same place in that way. Now I know some folks can read you well but use it for their own purposes minus caring about you. That’s huge.

My marriage to the first narcissist ended with a near death experience.. I was devastated. The relationship that I ended in January was more like a broken femur.. lol. I’m 61 years old now and I’ve pretty much decided that being alone is way better than being walked on!

I think of them as different flavors of ice cream when you're lactose intolerant.

Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator [email protected] to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...

You have been a blessing in my life, Dr. Ramani! Thank you!!!!

The goal is not to be immune, but to be aware

I have gotten more sensitive to red flags. I’ve also gotten better at trusting my gut and honoring my own feelings by understanding gaslighting. If something even remotely seems manipulative, I back away slowly. Phrases that smack of projection, I get a bit suspicious. So in a way, if we understand radical acceptance, we are inoculated to narcissistic behaviors. Then we have to filter that through all that we know about individuals we meet and ourselves.

The opposite happens. Being abused in childhood opens you up to being abused as an adult. FTW

All you can really do is "quarantine" yourself as much as possible, learn to love being alone. The real challenge in these situations is that these people can owe you money and refuse to pay, have your belongings and refuse to give it back, or claim you have something or owe them something that you really don't, as an excuse to never leave you alone.

They learn your weaknesses early, and usually, as time goes by, you only get weaker by their mistreatment. As you get weaker, they hate you even more and double down harder.

I am in the midst of a super battle with my narcissistic step mother. Now I am backed in to a corner. Cold, scared and very alone. 😞

I'm in healthcare and it's loaded with narcissists. Fortunately ( or unfortunately), I don't think there is any danger of lack of exposure to narcissists.

I have an allergic reaction to anything that feels like controlling behavior.

Hi Doctor Ramani, there is something I can't wrap my head around - if narcissists are insecure deep inside then why our warmth and readiness to help them don't work. The better we treat them the worse their response is

Because, on the contrary, survivors develop a sensitivity

I do keep watching for the knowledge boost, because as time passes, it is difficult to accurately remember past pain and I catch myself thinking, maybe it wasn't so bad or maybe I overreacted because my father was dying and now it will be different. I have to keep reminding myself that there is a long-standing pattern of certain people harming me and that just because now they are not harming me because of less contact and less stress in their life does not mean that they are safer. I keep reminding myself that once you have learned a lit lightbulb is hot, it does not make sense to keep touching it, just to make sure.

I think information/ education on what a narcassit is,thats how i was able to escape the abusive narc i was with,once i could identify what was really going on i had to let it go. My antenna is way up,if & when i date again after i heal ,i will def know that demon when i sense it. Watching this chanel everyday has saved my life,once you learn i dont think you can ignore or unlearn this type o personality

The first step when you meet someone is trying to figure out if they're GOLD or GOLD PLATED and that's hard to do, especially when they're showing that they like you and you like them. I still think scientists should develop a vaccine to protect us against narcissists and to prevent and treat narcissism. 😂

I would argue to say i DO have a heightened tolerance to narcissism. Not only can i recognize it almost immediately, i know how to handle them and when to stay away. It takes less time to get over it. But i cant stay in that environment for an extended period of time