Did the narcissist turn me into an INTROVERT?

Narcissists hate it when you express yourself. They will turn you inwards to where you’re constantly questioning yourself, until it begins to affect your self-esteem and you lose confidence. So yes, I believe that narcissists can cause us to become more introverted. But if we’re around the right people, we may be more talkative.

I miss my old self. I used to be so vibrant and confident. I hope I can be myself again.

I used to be an extrovert. Awareness of narcissism has made introversion more comfortable.

This hits home... I remember when I used to be the 'light of the party' with smiles and daddy jokes all around.. but after being burned by parents, friends and relationships SO MUCH, today I bunk at home and just go for solo projects and hang outs... I see a friendly face once every 3 or 4 months.... Thing is that I miss having people in my life, but I can't open up or attempt to trust people anymore...

Mental screening should be mandatory before making babies.

My mom called me "painfully shy" as a child, and I was. But I couldn't be myself around my mom. She was dominating and controlling but had no interest in me personally in terms of my emotions or preferences. I only ever felt relaxed and comfortable when I was alone in my room. As an adult, interacting with people exhausts me and I avoid it. I often wonder if I'd had a loving, empathetic mother if I'd turned out differently.

Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...

We lose our confidence and self esteem in these relationships. We should put them on mute...their lips are moving but we don't hear ..and move on with healing process

Too much exposure to narc behaviour and betrayal trauma caused my aversion of social interactions. I’ve become highly suspicious of everyone I meet, “scanning” for signs of narcissistic behaviour (to the point where I move on the minute I see a red flag). It gets lonely at times but I’ll take that over abuse & trauma any day…

I like people but actually being with them feels physically inflammatory.

By the time I turned 40, I had completely shut down the possibility of any close personal relationships. Grew up in a narcissistic family. Endured them at work, had them as "friends", and dated a handful of them. Even found two when seeking help to deal with the abuse. Therapists are not even safe. At this point, I am done. I am too emotionally exhausted to deal with other people. I just want peace in my life now.

Between the narcissistic abuse I grew up in next to the narcissistic abuse I underwent at jobs and other institutions I will say that yes they steal your desire to be personable and outgoing. I had an ex coworker smear me to anyone who would listen. Ended up not making friends with people because of them and their false accusations. It's a long story but it's gotten to a point where I am afraid to be myself. I stay home far more often because I'm fearful of running into one of these types of idiots again. It's just safer, quieter, and less drama to be home and at peace. But it makes me sad because being myself feels really good and I love sharing my ideas and making people laugh. I really despise these people and they seem to make up the majority of the population.

The narcissist traumatized you by abusing you. They didn't turn you into anything they traumatized you.

I was such an extrovert when in my 20s, now later in my 50s, Im practicality a recluse.

Before my narcissistic roommate, I loved serving in church, attending church and community group, inviting people over, shopping, working in the garden, and cooking. Now after a year and five months of abuse, I stay home, stay in my pjs and watch videos on my phone!

It starts to make you not want to talk about yourself to anyone anymore, even benign things like where you work or how many children you have, when such small talk has been turned against you and used to control or belittle you, you just learn to not share anything of yourself. Eventually you stop mixing with people. And let’s be honest about it there’s more narcissists than ever out there, I’d rather be on the safe side.

When I was with my ex I had to pretend that I was constipated in the bathroom if I wanted any alone time as he was very clingy and possessive. I came to associate safety with the bathroom. Unfortunately I wasn't safe when I came out as he'd yell and scream at me for leaving him alone too long and feeling abandoned while I used the bathroom. Eventually when I went to the bathroom to escape I knew he'd yell at me when I came out but it was sooo worth it! When you are with a narcissist you feel like you are squeezed into a small tight box with someone crushing your chest until you can't breathe. It feels like they are litterally stealing the air from you because the stress and exhaustion is so high. Hugs to all survivors of narcissistic abuse.

I don't know if it turned me into an introvert, but I do know I became hypervigilant and mistrustful. Sometimes isolating myself is the only way I can think of to feel safe. I know a lot of people but I don't have a lot of friends, I have zero patience with lies, keeping up appearances, games, power struggles, etc. I strongly value the wonderful friends I do have.

I clicked so fast on this video. I’ll never forget when while healing from being discarded for the first time, I texted one of my friends from college, “It’s so funny, I always thought I was an extrovert, but it turns out I’m actually an introvert!” I’m not an introvert. I’m traumatized. Ever since I was discarded by my ex narc, I’ve kept more to myself and have avoided text messages and calls and most offers of friendship and connection. I look at other people with big groups of friends and wish I could be them but I’m terrified. I feel so unworthy but also so alone. I know I am worthy, technically, but the thought of walking into a room full of people makes me imagine jumping off a bridge. I used to be a leader and a fierce advocate for what I thought was right, and now I try to avoid conflict. I have no idea how to get my fire back. What’s nice is that I have friends who tell me it never left, but I can’t see it anymore. I’m running low on hope now, too. That’s what kept me going through my first three decades. Was raised by a narc dad and a BPD mom. Was 7 by the time I screamed at them from the top of the stairs that they never should’ve reproduced. I think about that now and cry. For too many reasons than I can include in a YouTube comment. Thank you for what you do, Dr. Ramani. I’m one of the thousands and thousands of people you’ve helped. May you be blessed with health and love. ♥️

Narcissists should be in prison... end of.