"Am I trans?" One trans guy's coming out experience.

DUDE, I feel the "I like men so much I wanna be one" part SO MUCH IT HURTS

i felt that when you said "it would have been nice to not have taken 24 years to realize that feeling like a ghost is not actually a normal part of the day to day human experience" cause I'm about to be 24 and without videos like yours from small creators and blogs, I would not be realizing it all now. so yeah, your videos are really insightful to me and I've personally never seen content talking about these issues from this perspective before. im like addicted to the internet and use it way too much, but content like this hasnt benn readily available to me. at least not until it started popping up in my feed about a month ago. its just nice feeling like im not alone anymore.

I just wanted to tell you that this video helped me immensely. It was like the final nail in my personal gaslighting coffin and helped me to really examine myself and stop hiding and shoving down my feelings and accept myself as a trans guy. I came out later that month, October of last year, and I am now medically transitioning at 41 and could not be in a better place. I have shared this video with some other guys who are in that same questioning space. Thanks for putting yourself out there. The world can be really shitty and mean but you can make a difference, even if it’s only one person at a time.

"I came into focus only by being a supporting character" ...... ..... Ouch, what a callout. I'm in my 40s and the dearth of information regarding transmasculine possibilities in my life thus far has got me on an even later start than you had. You've nailed a lot of the denials and the points that I have gone through, though, so I wanted to thank you (And Jessie Gender for putting you on my radar) for the resonant help in my journey.

Dang. This video is so relatable! I’m a 42 yo AFAB human. I didn’t learn about trans people until I was like 30. And I just thought everyone had p*@is envy and wanted to be a man. I just threw myself into trying to be the best trans ally I could because I wasn’t trans. I just hated my body and voice and hated pictures of myself, but I’m not trans. Plus I was too old to do anything about it even if I was. Then I surrounded myself with trans friends, I would go out with trans people, I watched trans content creators. I finally decided I’m nonbinary…which meant that I’m not cis…which means I’m trans. It took a really long time and a ton of mental gymnastics, but I finally figured it out, thanks to a good friend I work with. I don’t know if I identify as a man or not, but I’m sure I don’t identify as a woman. So for now I’m a trans nonbinary. And I just had my first dose of T. I can’t believe how good I feel about this decision! I’m actually excited about the future again. It feels good. And your videos have also been a huge help in my process. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and knowledge with all of us. You really are making a difference in the world. ❤️🙏

"Where are the fears coming from" Yep, this. Wish I asked this a lot sooner.

I wish I saw this sooner, I would have gone over the phase of "reasons I'm not trans" thing, I was in denial about my identity for 1-2 years! My mental health wasn't going so well during that time and I didn't exactly know why until I said "what if I am trans", I've never felt more myself before. Thank you, I am now sure of my gender identity. :)

Thank you for this. I start hrt tomorrow and as excited as I am I am ten times more frightened. My transition will ultimately be the end of my marriage but I am 37 years old and tired of hiding.

I spent 30 years as a ghost, had very similar thoughts around not wanting to admit I wasn't cis. I'd built up this artist persona under my deadname and made that work identity me and never knew how to turn it off. A lot of this is because when I first started looking into it, I didn't see many nonbinary transmasc experiences and I couldn't fully relate to the binary trans male experience so I figured I was "just bad at being a girl". Anyways, now I've been out as nonbinary transmasc for 2+ years and on T for almost 2 months and things are better.

So ive been sitting here for about 15 minutes after watching your vid. Ive never really been attached to the labels of boy or man, despite what my handle may suggest(im just poor at thinking of good handles online). 6-7 years ago, my girlfriend at the time(herself a trans woman) kinda turned to me, with no preamble, and asked me if i was a woman, and i did something i rarely do when asked a question, which is blurt out an answer without thinking about it. "No!" Is what i told her, and when she pressed further, i got a little bit defensive(also pretty out of character). She dropped the subject pretty quickly, though, but did it with a little smile that hasnt escaped my head since. As im writing this, i dont know if she fully clocked me right back then, but she could see something inside me that i hadnt been able to(or refused to) see in myself. I dont know who i am today, the only thing i can say for certain is that im not a man. When i hear lesbian and bi women speak about what and how they love their female partners, and how its so different from how men love women, it kind of feels like home in a sense. Im sort of rambling at this point, so i will leave it there for now, but thank you Finn, i have alot to think about. I hope that wherever on the gender spectrum i fall, when it reveals itself to me, i'll finally be able to feel at ease with myself and my body.

Thank you for this video. I just turned 31 years old and after 2 years single and working on myself, I feel the more I heal the more my gender disphoria hits which makes me tell myself "something is wrong with you and it will pass" despite being a kid and wishing I was a boy and wanting to be called Geoff (yes, with a g, i was particular about that lol) I am incredibly terrified as I have already hid my pansexuality from my religious parents and this seems like another huge hurdle I want to just kick under a rug because of the doubt.

Did you break into my brain, take my whole life experience, and tell it like it was your own story? Woulda been nice if you asked, brah

I love you so much! You are articulate and courageous, and by finding your own voice you have given strength and permission to others to find theirs. From a very young age you ALWAYS looked out for the underdog, and I am happy that you are now looking out for YOU, even if it meant as your mother I had to adjust to a new normal. You are glowing, confident and healthy, and that makes me so happy. (Dad too) I am so very very proud of you! I am also incredibly proud of your best friend, he too has been amazing, and as your mother I am so grateful to him for all of his support, he has also been courageous in his transition from your boyfriend to your best friend. The world definitely needs more people like both of you!!

Ok...wow...Finn, why have I not watched your YT vids before?? Silly me. I thought about DM’ing you on Instagram but I decided it’s prob more helpful to comment openly because transgender journeys are so varied and worth sharing. So this comment is for you but I also hope it’s helpful to others :) So...{deep breath} I just turned 39 and only had my first realisation on being non-binary a year ago. Growing up I had no real understanding of what being transgender meant, and definitely not what it meant in regards to myself. I even specialised in the subject of sex and gender whilst studying fine art at uni but my identity at that point, outwardly identifying as a woman, was so attached to what others thought of me...sense of self entirely built around other people, oh my god yes! So I still didn’t look at myself within a trans context, at all 😳 And the feeling of it being an aggressive act, yes definitely, especially when it comes to my ex partners. I don’t want them to take it personally, as if my change of gender is some personal affront, and there are definitely some people that I shy away from discussing this with. Although I define myself as non-binary, I’ve really struggled thinking of myself as trans. When the penny dropped that being NB meant I was trans I felt like a fraud. I still have the fear that I’m being somehow disingenuous, even tho my life feels so full of integrity since I’ve come out. I’m still hideously awful at explaining myself. I was a subconscious people-pleaser; I didn’t want to please everyone but those I valued in my life I tried to please. And I hated myself without having a clue why. Tho I generally never hated how I looked because I think I just detached myself from those feelings. I could even say that I had quite a body-positive self image at times but it was one that was thoroughly linked to the people-pleasing, and sex, and gaining validity from others through sex. Looking back now I know that even though I did my best to avoid/ignore/be oblivious to my transness, my journey started way before this last year. I now also see the dysphoria more clearly that led to a very addictive sexual personality in order to try to push it deep down where I couldn’t see it. Watching your video today has helped me to process those realisations so thank you. You’re a beautiful human being and being able to listen to your experiences really helps people, it is definitely helping me x

AHHHH I felt the exact same way for so long (I'm 28 now) and started testosterone 6 months ago :)) thank you for your thoughts and sharing!

4:09 I think was one of the topics that made me realize I'm trans. Like I thought "hey everyone questions or what it'd like to be the other gender, right?" But when I asked in school they said they never did

Wow, you are so wise for being so young. (I am 58, and just came out to my grown son this year. 2022)

6:20 to 6:55 Holy fucking SHIT. You explained that so perfectly...

🥰 I'm glad to watch you tell your story/journey.

This video was almost like watching my own thoughts 👀. I haven't started my transition though. Working on my journey. Really liked your video. Thank you for sharing this. 💛💛