The Worst Artifacts in the History of Magic: the Gathering are Hilariously Bad

Early MTG design is so funny: fast mana, cheap tutors, cheap counterspells = meh ok. Damage prevention, life gain, mana fixing, ping for 1 = BROKEN!

How do we print 10 mana on Aladdin's Lamp ? how about two 5's......why not just make it cost 9? NO WAY, then it would be busted.

Against the Odds: Aladdin edition. Make it happen Seth

Magic in 1994 was way different. Drop your Will O The Wisps and Walls of Air, then draw into enough mana to cast your Aladdin's Ring. Your opponent is guaranteed to be dead before turn 20 or 30, since their Serra Angel can't break through your defenses and they're taking 4 to the face each turn. Unless they Healing Salve to delay the inevitable. Maybe the repeatable damage prevention of Rakalite would be a hard counter? Hmm...

North Stars Art is way too good for a card that bad

Arcum's sleigh is actually always a blank piece of cardboard, since it can only give vigilance to creatures that already attacked, due to its oracle text caring about the "defending player"

While Aladdin's Ring is definitely pretty overcosted, it actually has a really good effect. The ability to deal 4 damage at instant speed each turn is no joke, and can absolutely win games. For its time, Aladdin's Ring was actually a pretty solid control finisher. The idea is that you'd use the rest of your deck to remove boards that Aladdin's Ring is too slow to handle, then late in the game, when the coast is clear, you play Aladdin's Ring. From that point onward, if your opponent plays a creature, you kill it with Aladdin's Ring at the end of their turn, or if they don't play a creature, you burn them for 4.

"thats 14 mana and a time restriction to build....an Impulse" LOL

Go ahead take out the apocalypse chime, your gonna get bodied by my serrated arrows

Aladdin’s ring is a mono artifact, meaning by the oracle text, it is in fact not even repeatable😂

Alladin's Ring was actually a pretty good win condition in early sealed deck. Games would often stall out, and spending 8 a few turns in a row would close things out well.

I feel like the 1 mana do nothing cards should be near the bottom of the list, because at least it only cost you 1 mana and a card. And you might be able to sacrifice it with deadly dispute or something

Believe it or not, Apocalypse Chime DID see some sideboard play. The reason was that Homelands still had some finishers that were pretty hard to deal with by Targeted Removal. Autumn Willow, for example, was a 6 mana 4/4 creature with Shroud. You can pay 1 green mana to allow any target player to target Autumn Willow with effects until end of turn. Pump her with Auras and she becomes a legitimate threat with little fear from the enemy sniping it with Dark Banishing or the like. The Chime gave non-white players a Mass Removal effect to deal with these. Fringe, sure, but it STILL had its day in the sun for a bit. Also, for entry: Delif's Cube. 1 Mana Artifact. 1 mana and tap: This turn, if target creature you control attacks and is not blocked, put a cube counter on Delif's Cube and that creature deals no combat damage this turn. 2: remove a cube counter from cube: regenerate target creature Delif's Cone: 0 Mana Artifact. Tap: Sacrifice Delif's Cone: This turn, if target creature you control attacks and isnt blocked, you gain life equal to that creature's power. That creature deals no combat damage this turn Runesword: 6 mana Artifact. 2 Tap: target attacking creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn. If that creature deals combat damage to another creature this turn, that creature cannot regenerate and exile if it leaves the battlefield. If target creature leaves the battlefield, sacrifice Runesword

"One of my favorite memories growing up was playing my favorite NES game: Bobble Bobble" -- Seth

Aladdin's lamp is also a major flavor miss. It should come into play with 3 wish counters, remove a wish counter to tutor a card at instant speed. The bizarre pseudo-scrying effect doesn't say "this grants wishes" at all.

True story: I played with both the Aladdin artifacts back in the day. The 'combo' was to put Animate Artifact on them and attack. Early MTG didn't have much expensive artifacts to do this with, so they went in. At least the ring did something if I couldn't animate it; the lamp is just the absolute worst. Honestly I think Delif's Cone should be on the worst artifacts list over the ring.

My jaw dropped multiple times. I can't believe there are worst things than Apocalypse chime

I'm honestly surprised not to see Gustha's Scepter in here. Not because it's a bad card (it saw play during Urza's block and enabled certain strong cards to be even stronger) but because it usually ends up on lists like this. You did a good job of really picking some stinkers! I don't think any of these were even good when they were printed.

There's a great little artifact from Kaledesh called Consulate Turret. Terrible. Tap it to reload the turret with energy and then shock your opponent. Me and my buddy had a blast dueling Consulate Turret decks. Lol

Seth mispronouncing “bubble” as “bauble” may be his magnum opus