The Needless Person

Who else's basic needs were treated as privileges?

Note to my younger self: I'm sorry I didn't speak up for you ❤

What happens to your needs? You stop expecting they'll be met, perceive them as selfish, and you stop voicing them.

A very sad place to be in... causes depression, lack of joy, loss of hope and even loss of will power.

Needless people are the ones serving others, but forgetting to put themselves on the table.

Religious narcissists are masters at creating "Needless" people. 😥

Sat here and debated about going to a beauty salon for a month. I haven't been for 3 years and caretaking for narc Mom. She passed away 3 weeks ago, and I cannot find the words for the relief I feel. Never have to argue or be gaslit by her ever again! My son stepped up and said GO to the salon and take care of yourself for a change.

I was the “invisible child” in my family system. I’m paying a price in adulthood. Going through a lifetime of never been seeing leads to debilitating anxiety around situations in which you must make yourself seen or make even the smallest of demands.

So true, at 61 now just seeing this. Have been the needless person all my life. Trained since a baby

Every need that I had before was replaced with one great need: I need a hug. I just need to cry on someone’s shoulder for about a week.

Thank you for being present for all the survivors that need this language, Dr. Ramani 🌹🌹🌹

First time I realised that my needlessness and self-sufficiency were a respond to a trauma caused by a narcissistic mother. Thank you!

"I learned to satisfy my desires by having less of them" i used to live by this aphorism, and only now realize i was using it as a coping mechanism.

"What happened to your needs? Where did they go?" The narcissist FLUSHED them down the TOILET! Narcissists: "I'll tell you what you need and don't need"

I’ve been self reliant, because I’ve always felt like a bother to others. Anytime I’ve needed something, I was made to feel like it was such an inconvenience for others in my family. Or I get raged at, while being told that I’m not thinking of the other person’s issues that they are going through. I’ve learned to isolate myself. Now I’m being refused weight loss surgery from the psychologist ( which I need him to approve, so my insurance can pay for my surgery ). The psychologist said that I don’t have enough support systems. I’ve lived with narcissistic abuse sense childhood, and only broke away from my narcissistic sister a few years ago.

This is me. I have sat with myself for 15 yrs trying to find a way to incorporate more love and kindness to myself. It has cost me almost every friend and family member though I have come to understand that my predilection to dedicate myself to needy and manipulative individuals is why i walk alone. Im content though, all the pain from abandonment and rejection almost wrecked me. But it didn't. My Lord has sustained me and I now live with joy knowing its my day, my choices that dictate my life and my stereo to crank. Dont despair if you're living this too, keep striving to find YOUR peace, YOUR place and YOUR true self. ❤

My mum ignores her needs because to her, that's being a "good mother" or a "good partner". But she's actually very frustrated if others have needs and express them.

"LIVE AND LET LIVE" is a concept that a narcissist can't understand or accept.

Our needs are lost somewhere between their fake love, devalue, discard and hoover. We've become less and less needy.

My mother was a toxic narcissist. Every phone conversation I had with her, if anyone could call her capable of any conversation, centered around her. I also had a narc friend I dumped who was the same way. Glad my mother is dead and that I dropped the "friend." Leave these people in any way, shape, or form that you can because they never change.