IVF, Surrogacy, and Infertility: A Thoughtful Christian Approach

We know that pain. We spent years trying to decide how “far” to go in infertility treatment. In the end we chose very little intervention and went with adoption. The reasons are all the reasons you talk about in this video. I could not stand the thought of one of our babies being outside my womb and harmed in the lab. Or the lab lying to us about how many were created. Or the thought of one of our babies suspended in time through freezing. I just couldn’t handle those thoughts and had no peace about it. My precious precious babies are God’s beautiful gift through adoption. I wish more believers would think through this more.

Thanks for doing a session on this topic! It’s sooooo near and dear to my heart. My husband and I have dealt with fertility issues for at least 3 years. We struggle with “subfertility” meaning that he produces sperm, but with an inadequate number and motility. We spoke to an IVF doc and a restorative reproductive doctor as well. We ultimately chose to pursue restorative fertility for many of the reasons voiced in this video. You gave words to my feelings of objection! Thank you! I can say now that I’m so grateful that we didn’t choose IVF. One reason is because it led us down a road to be foster parents. I now know that I can be satisfied without children and also without biological children. When you talked about idolizing children and pregnancy I can relate! I did that for so long and it led me down a very unhappy road. I allowed God to heal my heart and restore to me the joy of life even without children. Thanks for approaching such a sensitive subject with grace and truth. I do have some soul searching to do as i am a nurse who helps consult women and men about their fertility options before starting cancer treatment as many treatments can affect the reproductive system. There are options that don’t include using egg retrieval and encourage natural childbirth of which is an option for most women. I’m encouraged and challenged at the same time. Thank you again!

Ugh how people just throw out, “if we can’t conceive, we will adopt” is nauseating. The purpose of adoption is not so people can grow their families who couldn’t otherwise. Adoption is not without its own ethical malaise.

we need to make adoption easier and more affordable. just because we CAN do something doesn't mean we SHOULD.

I found some of the remarks thought provoking. We have been blessed with 2 children thanks to IVF and a lot of prayer, we have a third embryo which will be thawed in the next couple of months for transfer. When we embarked on this very painful journey, we prayed long and hard about what to do, and decided on IVF, we also decided to limit the number of embryos the doctors would be allowed to create, and the decision was made at the start that whatever numbers of embryos that we had would be transferred and given the same chance that the other siblings have been given. It has not been easy but there are ethical and moral ways in which to walk this road, and while its not popular to limit the number of embryos created, or to limit the number that will be transferred this was the only way we felt we could proceed with assisted conception.

I am so thankful to God for giving us the technology of IVF. It’s a miracle really and I feel very blessed that there is a chance for my husband and I to have our own children, so I’m very excited to be starting this in 2 weeks. It took us a year to think through the ethical implications, it is not easy at all but I got my message in prayer that we should proceed. Infertility is a difficult journey, the key is to remain humble, understand that we are not owed anything, including children. They are the most precious gifts, and for some of us this is not in our life plan, some need to work for this gift. At the end of the day, no child is born without God’s blessing and I don’t see how you can get punished for following God’s will to bring new children into the world. As I see it, the key is to pray for guidance from God, have good intentions for no harm, take responsibility for your actions. This includes - don’t overstimulate to get a high number of embryos when you only want 1 child and the ovarian reserve is high, don’t discard embryos that may be viable just because they are not the highest quality etc. God bless us all!

Wow, thank you so much for covering this topic. I have had questions and concerns for several years about the morality of various fertility treatments and could never find a solid biblical voice speaking to this topic. So good 🙏🏽

Hmm, I have to disagree with her final conclusion that all forms of Ivf are wrong (sinful basically). In the case that a single embryo is created (which, by the way, is still ultimately created by God even if it occurred outside of a woman’s body) and then directly implanted, I don’t feel her argument is strong enough to call that wrong. Ultimately, God still does decide whether the embryo will implant successfully, or not. So, her argument about how it’s wrong to take matters into one’s own hands to have a child, isn’t quite accurate knowing that God still does get a final say. I imagine she’d be fine with someone who wasn’t blessed with a child, deciding to take matters into their own hands by adopting.

An excellent talk by Stephanie. I agree with everything she has said. What a God loving beautiful woman. Intelligent and easily understood, just excellent.

We have been recommended IVF just this year and infertility has been with us since we married and just doing very brief research, I found alot of ethical and moral dilemmas. So even before infertility became alot more real for us as time has gone on, it is something that we aren't comfortable going through. To be given an option to possibly have a child through this method - and refuse it for moral reasons, is as difficult as infertility has been as a journey. We also seem to be offered less sympathy because we turned it down. We both always wanted children, alot of them, to be raised in the Lord. IVF seems to be the only option offered to us and there is nowhere I can go with the pain of saying no to IVF as so often its the natural ending of infertility. Even within the church. Thank-you for the video.

I went into this video not thinking ivf was bad. How is something that was made to give us the life of a baby bad after all? God gave us science, so let's use it. As the video progressed I realized how faulty my thoughts were. Thanks Sean for this video! Doing great work!

IVF is close to my heart as both my daughters were conceived through IVF, 16 and 13 years ago. I found some of Stephanie's language strange. Calling an embryo a 'baby' and also calling them children. Also saying that by freezing an embryo you are denying them something. My second child was from a frozen embryo from our 1st round of ivf. I'm pretty sure her existence hasn't been denied anything. In fact she wouldn't even be here were it not for IVF. We were incredibly lucky and blessed that both ivf cycles worked first time. I was not a Christian at the time, but looking back I feel God was in the whole process. All embryos formed were implanted and none were left over or destroyed. Some key questions were not covered. Eg is IVF a God-given gift? Are other medical treatments God given? Take to an extreme, would you not give someone medical treatment because you are denying them a natural course of the illness? No, of.course not. If God is in ultimate control, he must know what embryos will form and therefore which ones are successful? He knew my daughters names way before they were conceived. And I thank God every day that they are here 🙏

In my opinion, this should be a matter of personal convictions, especially in the case where there are no excess embryos produced in the process. The argument against IVF on the basis of "defying God's will" by using technology to overcome a physical limitation does not hold water to me, as we are literally using a technology to overcome the physical limitations on our ability to converse with one another over long distances.

As an RN and Christian woman I believe IVF is a good gift from God to my son and daughter-in-law. They tried to conceive several years without success. There were blocked fallopian tubes. They went to a Christian doctor who harvested sperm and eggs, Then fertilized one egg in vitro then implanted that fertilized egg. They have a healthy loving christian family. IVF is their gift from God, answer to many prayers. What about tissues grown in labs for burn victms, then discarded? Early embryonic tissue does not have heart, lungs, brain just like other tissues grown on labs that are sometimes discarded.

Thanks for talking about this! I’ve always thought more light needed to be shed on IVF, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows like people think. But i think there are potentially ethical ways to go about it…

This lady has some extreme views on IVF. I would support any couple’s choice to use this tool if they’re struggling with infertility and it’s recommended by their doctor.

So, essentially the argument is: 1) Human persons have intrinsic value (they are subjects not objects). 2) We have a moral obligation to treat other human persons with dignity and respect (as subjects not objects). 3) The practice of IVF devalues human beings, by treating them as commodities (objects) which can be manufactured, bought, sold, or traded. 4) Therefore, IVF is an immortal practice. Is that a correct summary?

Dr Sean, I want to say you are one of my favorite apologists. I appreciate your extremely thoughtful views on topics. And your willingness to empathize with, while confronting, opposing viewpoints is very admirable. I subscribe to your channel and try to watch ever video you release. With that being said, the viewpoint proscribed by Stephanie in this interview is the most despicable I’ve seen you platform. As someone in a family/marriage that has gone though IVF, twice, I have some experience. We spoke with and interviewed many doctors and hospitals about the process. It is embarrassing how many blatantly untruthful (or ignorant) claims and assertions that she made during this interview. No doctor is recommending putting in 5 embrios at a time. No one. We had to beg our doctor to put in 2 both times. And that was the most they would allow, even though they recommended only one. Her correlation of a person struggling with being conceived from rape, to that of one being born into a loving family using science and technology, is intellectually dishonest. Both of my children know they were born through IVF. And they know Mommy and Daddy did it in a safe and responsible way for them to have a life. And they are grateful for it. Her comments about freezing a 5 day old embryo (that is smaller than a pen dot and is weeks away from having a heartbeat) as being “inhumane” are just plain asinine and ridiculous. To think that a 5 day embryo has the capacity of consciousness and feelings, long before having a heartbeat, is absurd. If everything she believes about conception and the value of unborn life is true, then God is the greatest abortionist/killer of unborn children of all. Far more than half of all conceptions end before the mother even knows she was ever pregnant. And another half don’t make it past the first trimester. Although I vehemently disagree with the late Christopher Hitchens in this point, this is the example that he is referencing when he says religion poisons everything. How someone who is as good at heart as Stephanie probably is, can be so cold-hearted and evil in her assertions is because her version of religion/theology tells her so.

Thank you so much for speaking on this topic! It is always better to be informed and make your decisions before an emotional situation arises. For example, my husband and I both made the decision that pre-marital sec was not an option while we were dating. Did we face temptation? Absolutely!! But we were able to withstand it because our pre-decided convictions that were based in what we learned from the Word of God. We were aware of the potential of temptation, and therefore we prepared for it ahead of time! Christians need to be prepared to face for a whole slew of temptations, and the emotional crisis of infertility is one of them.

I always felt that if pregnancy didn't come naturally then I would try to adopt. I never felt IVF was right, or for me. I'm always willing to learn though. I think many people get offended because we all love someone who was a test tube baby, and we wouldn't want life without them. It's a little tricky for sure.