Bizarre Last Words
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Published 2022-02-14
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All Comments (21)
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Can't believe you didn't mention Henrik Ibsen's last words. He was laying sick in bed and a visitor came in and asked the nurse about his health, she assured them that he was feeling better, to which he responded "On the contrary!" and promptly died
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"Pistol Pete" Maravich also famously said in an interview in 1974: “I don't want to play 10 years in the NBA and die of a heart attack at age 40.” He then proceeded to play 10 years in the NBA and die of a heart attack at age 40.
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It’s worth noting French was said to be maniacally laughing at his own joke as he was electrocuted. So, real supervillain energy there
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I think one of my favorites was Voltaire, French philosopher historian and author. When on his deathbed a priest urged him to renounce Satan, Voltaire looked up at him and went "Now now, this is not the time to be making enemies"
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"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance" -Last words of Gen. John Sedgwick before being shot in the face, 1864
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"A woman who can fart is not dead." Well, someone didn't know about relaxing sphincters...
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Mel Blanc’s last words were, “I love you, Noel!” said in the voice of Yosemite Sam (Noel is his son who was at his bedside.) Mel Blanc voiced Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, Tweety, Sylvester, Pepé Le Pew, Tasmanian Devil, Foghorn Leghorn, Speedy Gonzales, Marvin the Martian, and many more characters.
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Another one from Ancient Rome is Emperor Vespasian, whose last words were "Dear me, I think I'm becoming a god", right before shitting himself to death
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The best one from the Salem Witch Trials is Giles Corey, who was being “pressed” as a form of torture to force him to plea one way or the other. He refused to enter a plea because if he was tried and declared guilty his lands would be forfeit and his children would get no inheritance. He was slowly crushed under heavy boulders for nearly three whole days, during which he was asked three times what his plea was. All he replied was “More weight.”
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My grandfather's last words were: "One day you are gonna kill me with your bullshit, Elizabeth!" towards my grandmother's nagging while we were having New Year's dinner together. He then went to the toilet where he suffered a fatal stroke. Bit sad, but also quite funny in retrospect.
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Japanese inmates are never told their execution date. One guy was promptly taken to death row and they are allowed to say one last thing, usually something like 'long live the emperor' or something like that. This one convict's last words were 'i thought we were going to take a bath'
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Some of my favourite last words are those of Thomas de Mahy, who was executed during the French Revolution. When he was shown his death warrant, he said: "I see that you have made three spelling mistakes."
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My impression of the early 20th century is that it was 60% horrible wars and 40% food based puns. Overall not a bad mix to have
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I remember seeing an infographic that showed many president’s last words. There was Reagan, Teddy, all of them. Some of them were sweet, like “could you get me a glass of water, dear?”. Some were sad, like “I’m feeling unwell”. And THEN THEY HIT ME WITH Richard Nixon: “Help.” I’ve never been the same since.
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Lytton Strachey's last words were very succinct and to the point: "If this is dying, then I don't think much of it" I mean, who does?
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the fact that roahl dahl’s last words were “OW FUCK” killed me
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My great grandmother died last April. According to her home nurse, her last words were “Well, I’m going to go now.” I don’t know of that was true but if it was that kind of haunts me.
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"They couldn't hit an elephant from this dist-" - Union General John Sedgwick, right before his face promptly caught a slug from an enemy sniper
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I still unironically think the Spaghettios incident is super fucked up- like, regardless of how you feel on the death penalty, the least you could do before you kill a man is get his goddamn order right
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"And yet Jefferson lives." Might be my favorite petty last words. Similar to the tag incident, really. Founding Fathers John Adams and Thomas Jefferson had a great animosity during their terms in office over each other's policies and mindset. The rift eventually healed and they became friends again, but Adams, on his deathbed, said "And yet Jefferson lives." Unknown to Adams, though, Jefferson had died 5 hours earlier.
