A Bad Day with Anxiety

Many many virtual hugs. This all make complete sense and I watched it all.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 I just, you know when there are no words? It’s impossible for me to express . Huge, gigantic hugs Lucy. I completely relate to the anxiety, and SO much of what you say... eg ‘simply existing is a lot’ , being in my brain, the exhaustion, obsessing, loops, drowning , dissociation/ detachment .... it goes on. Desperately wish I could do or say something to help you. I’m so sorry if this doesn’t make sense, and so sorry I can’t help xxxx You are an incredible woman who deserves happiness and you deserve to be confident within yourself 💙HUGS. edit INCREDIBLY important- definitely, absolutely no need for you to feel guilty about anything! And you can do it. Even if you didn't do this on Friday (but you will), everyone will be be and already would be proud of you and you should be proud of yourself!

Thank you for sharing and being so honest x

Sorry to hear of your struggles. Whether you speak at the funeral or not , know that your family and friends love you without pressure to do anything. Big hugs to you.

Hi Lucy, thank you for sharing! It all made sense....even to me who does not suffer from anxiety. There are aspects that are all too familiar and (although I can't imagine the extend you're going through) I know what you're going through. As the previous commentator said 'many, many virtual hugs', from me, too! What else is there to do for us viewers, except to emphasise and tell you that you'll be fine. Certainly, this may not alleviating the pains you're going through at the moment, but I hope that our compassion shows you that you're not alone. Argh...what to say that isn't said already? I hope that you'll be fine on Friday....that all your preparations help to make your day a little bit (or a lot) less stressful for you. Big, big hugs!

Oh my... What you are describing sounds extremely similar to what I suffer with. I completely understand the worry, the planning, the exhaustion, the detaching, etc. I think you were wise to make a video of yourself giving the speech. It would be completely understandable if you decided to use it. Mind you, I think it's lovely that you want to do it in person. I spoke at my mother's funeral a few years ago. I can barely remember doing it. I must have been completely detached. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts, I hope you find ways to make the coming days bearable. Oh and I've been watching your videos for a couple years now, I've commented before but my last name was different, so you might not remember or recognize me. I've been married for nearly 24 yrs but never bothered to have my last name changed. I've started using my husband's last name now and plan to change it officially once this blasted pandemic is over. Now look, here's me rambling on! Anyway... Much love to you and yours in these difficult days ahead. ❤

I’m so so sorry

Whatever happens you’ll get through it. Being at the funeral is important but if you can’t get there it doesn’t mean you don’t care about your grandad. Everyone who loves you knows that you’re doing your best and that’s all you can do. Have you ever tried diazepam for big events? It’s helped me go to things that I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to face. Will be thinking about you on Friday x