Shifting Attention: How To Make A Rude Person Regret Insulting You
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Published 2022-08-15
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Today we’ll go over how to handle it when someone insults you.
We’ll start with a couple classic “destroy” comebacks. These are great at winning over an audience and embarrassing the person who insulted you. Be warned though, they may make the target of your comeback hate you.
Then we’ll cover some friendlier, more charismatic responses so that you come away looking cool and confident without making enemies.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro
0:17 - #1: The high status reframe
1:40 - #2: Accept the insult and use it against them
2:54 - #3: Insult the insult
3:27 - #4: Draw a boundary
4:31 - #5: The "tit for tat" or "eye for an eye" method
6:25 - #6: Show that you're unaffected
8:18 - How do I build deep, unshakable confidence?
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All Comments (21)
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I’m very tall for a woman. I’m 6ft without shoes. I can’t make myself shorter, so I have no problem with looking taller. I walked into a club one night and this little guy said “wooo….are you a man?” And I looked him up and down, and said “no sweetheart. Are you?” And I walked away. His friends laughed at him, and I won. 😂
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You will always regret losing your temper but you will never regret staying calm and appearing like it does nothing to you.
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Don't take hurtful criticism or insults seriously when they come from a person whom you wouldn't go to for important advice.
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I told my kids to tell me some of the insults they've gotten while in school and they would come home to tell me. Then I would give them some good comeback lines for friends or even bullies in school. They would come home the next day and say "Mom, I made the classroom/lunchroom fallout laughing with that line"... It really boosted their confidence and cut down on any insults, backhanded compliments or bullying they encountered.
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I've built my sense of humor as a defence growing up as a fat kid. Really made me appreciate the power of spoken language as it destroyed every attempted bully and won respect. Probably helped me develop an unhealthy obsession with wording and over analysis, too.
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Simply ask the person who is attempting to diminish you "what would motivate you to say that"? This lets everyone know that you don't accept their insult as being valid, and puts them in the spotlight, and under intense social pressure, to justify their rudeness.
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#6 “Show that you’re unaffected.” Unknowingly, I used this technique throughout my thirty-one career as a cop. I can’t tell you how many thousands of times someone insulted me as a prelude to their question. Ignoring the insult and answering the question as if it’s sincere almost universally diffused my “adversary’s” verbal attacks. This is great material, I wish I had the influence to make these videos mandatory viewing in our Police Academy. Cheers from Boston
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I'm learning as much by reading the comments as I did by watching the video.
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A woman called me misogynistic once, I replied "How narcissistic of you to assume I hate women as if you represent all of them".
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I love a good comeback, even when it’s directed at me. I (jokingly) told a coworker once “That file should work. Although I reserve the right to change my mind later—I am a woman after all.” His snappy comeback was perfect: “That’s fine. And I reserve right not to listen—I am a man after all.” 🤣 Touché sir!
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My best one was after putting on 10 pounds. A guy with a beer belly said "damn your getting fat". I just smiled, poked his gut and said "just trying to catch up". Smile dropped off his face as I walked away with a smile.
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Worked as a prison guard. An offender that was always sarcastic and lippy approached me in front of a crowd of them. Him-“ya know, when I get out I’m gonna move right next door to you.” Me- “You can’t.” Him- “why?” Me- “I live too close to a school.” I walk away The whole tier blew up.
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So basically: "Do anything that isn't getting angry, offended or throwing a tantrum." A lot of people today could learn from this video.
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One of my favorites is when I tell a joke and someone is trying to be condescending and says "Yeah, I don't get it" as though it wasn't even worthy of the title 'jokes'. I replied "I'll tell you when you're older" and even he genuinely laughed at that.
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I'm one of those people who thinks of a snappy reply three weeks later, so I developed The Look when people say something insulting. It never fails.
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This video has helped me so much. Someone said “nobody asked” after something I said out of the blue and I replied “what makes you think I was talking to you?” And that shut them up
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My grandfather used to repeat often: "Never forget your sense of humor, buddy!" Laughter will take you a lot farther in life than constantly *being offended*.
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Innocently ask the person insulting you to repeat what they said as if you didn’t quite hear it, look confused and ask them to explain it. Then watch them squirm with embarrassment with all the attention on them as they struggle to explain something that wasn’t funny.
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Don't react to toxic people. Not giving them a reaction when they desperately seek it, is far more powerful.
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When one of my children scored well on a standardized math test, her father said, “You know she got her math brains from me, right?” I replied, “She must have because I still have mine.”
