Why Shrek the Third is a Cinematic Disaster

Shrek 2: What I think I'm writing Shrek 3: What I'm actually writing

Literally the only joke i laughed at was this one: Shrek: "well, somebody better be dying!" King Harold: "I'm dying"

Shrek 1: The perfect beginning. Shrek 2: The perfect sequel Shrek 3: The perfect way to ruin a Saga. Shrek Forever After: The perfect ending.

tbh i never understood why Rapunzel turned against the other princesses. it always felt like such a "we pulled this out of our asses" moment to me.

My father legit thought Shrek Forever After was the third Shrek movie. I wish he was right.

The only good joke in this movie is Prince Charming.

Shrek: leaning to love others Shrek 2: learning to love yourself Shrek 3: … Shrek 4: learning to love what you have

I never understood how it was a plan to send Shrek to a high school unannounced and to just pick up some kid and take him home. Wouldn't they send the same people with the trumpets that collected Shrek and Fiona?

I wont lie, that shot of Prince Charming riding through the forest on a horse, only for the camera to zoom out and reveal that he's actually pretending to ride a stick with a horse head in front of scrolling screen always gets a chuckle out of me

I feel like it would have gone down better if they decided to have Prince Charming become hardened and cruel by the death of his mother, instead of keeping him as a pathetic loser. Think about it, he’s lost *everything*. His love interest, his destiny, his own family, everything is gone. He should have become something sinister, maybe personally scarring up his face as a way to denounce his name, thinking it no longer befits him. He pours all waking moments into becoming the head of the fairytale badguys with force. When he seizes far far away, he doesn’t want to rule it, he wants to destroy it. He wants to render the kingdom that ruined his life asunder, and he wants Shrek there to witness it all. Then, and only then, would he want to kill Shrek. Knowing the ogre has felt a meagre amount of the pain he had felt. And after it was all said and done, he’d look up into the night sky and whisper, his voice raspy from smoke inhalation and ceaseless battle. “for you... mommy.”

Apart from the Pinocchio lying scene, a scene I also find funny (kinda) is when Charming’s practising for killing Shrek. He’s just killing people in Shrek suits and hearing them grunt when they die is always a nice detail. I also love Charming’s frustration during his practise. Most of the time it gets a chuckle from me.

This movie is a dumpster fire but there are two scenes that did get a chuckle out of me: Arthur: "And Gwen, oh Gwen, I've always loved you." Gwen: "Ew." And Arthur: "Somebody help me! I've been kidnapped by a monster trying to relate to me!"

things that are shrek canon: far far away idol things that arent: an entire fucking movie

Admittedly, “Help! An adult is trying to relate to me!” Is pretty funny.

Just imagine if Prince Charming had the character arc of realizing that his self-worth wasn't tied to having the throne. He could've grown into an unlikely ally to our heroes. Basically, he could've been the prototype for Ken.

When I was a kid that DADA scene cracked me up 😂 kind of still does

Also why the f can't Fiona's mother rule the kingdom after the King's death? She ruled with him for decades and she's more reasonable than he ever was. But no, let's go fetch an inexperienced kid instead...

The only scene that I liked was when Prince Charming is asking Pinocchio where Shrek is because he can't lie. So Pinocchio tells the truth but gives long winded nothing answers. That got genuine laughs out of me. Everything else no

There’s a few jokes I laugh at but the “somebody better be dying” “I’m dying” Always gets me

To be fair, this movie does have a decent marching band cover of "All Star"