10 Struggles of Being the Borderline's Favourite Person

"As a favourite person you may start to feel resentment as a lot of your time and energy is spent on stabilizing" wow !

As a person with BPD, we don't Choose the FP. It happens on a subconscious level.

My wife has bpd. This is spot on. We are getting help and working through this, but I/we carry a lot of scars and so much pain from the last 10 years. Most family and friends in our circle don’t understand the things we have been through. I have felt very alone and absolutely trapped. A prisoner of my own home. It’s so hard to watch her suffer too because when she’s her “lucid self” she hates this part of her as much as I do. She’s a beautiful person who struggles with “demons” 😢 It took 6 years of marriage before we got help and we finally had a few answers.

As a person who probably has BPD, what might work in some cases is to stand your ground and repeatedly remind the BPD person that you're not responsible for their emotional turmoil. They will get angry and suffer, but they probably won't leave you because you're the most important thing in the world to them. At some point they might realize that you're right. At least that's what happened with me and my past favourite person. He was immune to my attacks and helped me understand that I was blaming him for my own emotions. But for that to work, the person has to be open to change and become better. The most important thing is that they get professional help. If they're not willing to, don't waste your energy on them

Being a FP is really exhausting and at the end of the day, toxic in my experiences

CAN’T WIN. Avoiding telling them about anything that made you happy that day because they will find the negative and obsess and focus on it and ruin any chance that you aren’t living a stressful life

this is the most validating content i have found on one of the most confusing challenging relationships i’ve ever had. thank you so much. i experienced this exact thing and no one, including me seemed to understand how much i was holding together ❤

The worst is when they know they have bpd and they don’t tell you and you’re the favorite person

8:50 dead on! It’s NEVER the BPD’s fault. They’ll double down with whatever irrational nonsense they can throw at you. I really hope there’s a video in here with coping strategies for people who have to deal with the BPD’s behavior. I’m committed to my marriage, “in sickness and in health” but I need to pry myself safely away from her BPD. Help!

I disagree that we CHOOSE an FP. Most times the way we feel about that person just creeps up on us.😢

I want to be in a loving relationship so bad, but I feel like its for the best if I don't. The fear of abandonment and jealousy hurts to an indescribable level. I don't want to have to put someone in this situation either, it sounds terrible. I feel horrible for how I treated my ex sometimes because of this disorder. Seeing people on the internet talk about bpd makes you feel quite hated too. This life sucks.

I'm a favorite and this was spot on. I love her with all my heart. It hurts me so bad when she says the hurtful things to me. She became violent and scared me to the point of leaving. I am miserable without her and miserable most of the time with her. My love for her cannot be put into words. She said she has done alot work,made promises but the signs are still there. I am so conflicted and want to be with her. I AM SCARED and my heart is breaking.

This video makes me realize I should be even more socialy distant than I ever was. Would be nice if someone explained once how we feel or love. I always feel like they describe us as shallow excessive annoying over the top stalker... we dont always drop the weight of the world on somebody else shoulders.... sometimes we keep it to ourself and are just dying inside

I dated a woman for a few months that appeared to have BPD. As we were getting to know each other we'd spend time introducing each other to friends on each side. When we met her friends she was fine, when she met my friends she would go into fits of intense, frightening, anger hours later or the following day. It was a pattern that was confusing and frightening. This sheds like on that behavior. Thank you.

I was a BPD's "favorite" person for several months. I had to establish very clear boundries over time and they moved on to a new "favorite." Thanks!

Omg this is my EXACT experience with my boyfriend with BPD for the last 13 months. It not only kills me because it’s profoundly draining and psychologically damaging to deal with but because I really do genuinely love him with all my heart and I know he loves me deeply. I don’t know how much more I can take though because the chaotic emotional rollercoaster he brings to my life is taking a serious toll on my physical and mental health. Being stuck between a rock and a hard place is exactly how I feel. 😭💔

This is all so true. I admit that I've made people very uncomfortable, and I wish I wasn't like this

The most accurate video I have ever seen. I have BPD and I have done this cycle NUMEROUS times. It’s heart breaking and I’m trying really hard to break out of it and do better <3

The irony of #10 is remarkable in that, the exact thing you describe the way the borderline feels after they lose the FP is so similar to how the discarded FP feels. I often tell people that I feel like my entire family (my ex fiancé and her kids that she had me help her raise for a year) died in a car accident or a plane crash. One day you are their everything, and literally the next you are nothing to them. It’s all so so so sick.

I just got out of a relationship with a man with BPD and holy shit, I feel like I wrote this video myself. All of these things are EXACTLY what I went through as his FP, and I’ve been questioning whether I was a bad person for not ever being or doing enough for him. Thank you so much for making this video, it was very healing.