🇬🇧 How To Speak To British People (yes, really)

In the UK in my youth [I am now 67] a constant warning was given by adults to children; in school by teachers, and even on TV; of "Don't talk to strangers!". I think that drives some of the hesitancy about talking to strangers, with a spoonful of shyness, and a ladle full of "It's none of your business!"

My wife is Scottish, she talks to everyone. I've lived round here for over 50 years, but within 20 years she knows far more people than me.

Southerner here. I have 2 dogs who I take out for walks every day, often meeting other people walking their dogs, usually the same ones, I know everything about their dogs, name, background, full medical history, diet, etc. The dog owners? Don’t even know their names.

Northener's will always talk to you, i live in Sheffield, you cannot go anywhere, without someone, striking up a conversation, i love it, painting the front fence, took me hour's, due to everyone stopping to talk, i love it.

I've lived in Kent for 30 years, and people are friendly and talkative, but we often need a reason to start up a conversation. Typically a dog (much easier to talk to first, then their human), but can be other things. In the two months I spent fitting out my campervan outside the house, I got to know more neighbours than in the previous 20 years!

“Y’alright?” is a fine example of what is known in linguistics as “Phatic Communication” - a form of communication whose purpose is social rather than informative - scene-setting, mood-creating small talk as a means of introduction, relationship building etc. The British, especially the southern English (a larger proportion of the U.K. population than that might sound) tend to be “high context” communicators - ie the way they communicate tends to be indirect and non-confrontational (not forthright) and can sound ambivalent or even vague and non committal to people from low context cultures (eg Americans, Dutch, Germans). Phatic communication is more common in high context cultures because of the need to establish mutual social comfort before talking about anything serious. Americans, Germans etc working in the U.K. will often remark on what (to them) seems like the time-wasting social chit-chat for the first 5-10 minutes of a meeting (eg the shared moaning about how awful the trains/traffic/weather is today), but for the Brits it’s a necessary introduction, a shared need to create fellow feeling, often jokingly ended with something likes “well that’s all jolly interesting I’m sure but we really ought to do some work” signalling the beginning of the actual business.

There are others like the alright. “Did you have a nice Christmas” always answered with “yes, just a quiet one” “Did you have a nice weekend”, “yes, you” “How are you?” , “Fine thanks, you?”

At Ely railway station there's a bench with a sign above it stating that this bench is for people who want to talk to others. No one sits on it.

As a travelling Canadian, I ran into the "you alright?"renting a car in the North. I was thinking that I must have looked like I had something wrong with me! I assured him I was okay. He just carried on! Nice video today.

Brilliantly observed Alanna!. When the Canadian government needs a new British ambassador, they could do worse than come knocking on your door 🙂

The second point about talking to strangers is touched upon by Bill Bryson in his "Notes from a Big Country," written from the perspective of moving back to the US after having lived in the UK for many years. He was taken aback when phoning a customer service department and being addressed as "Bill." For all his time in the UK, customer service personnel had always addressed him as "Mr Bryson," and as the American counterpart was talking to him ("Hi Bill, my name is Bob" etc.) all he could think was "Thanks Bob, but all I need is some help with my credit card; I'm not looking to start a relationship." There is more of a first-name basis to business conversation in the UK now than there was 30 or 40 years ago, but formality is still very much ingrained on the British consciousness, especially in the South where the big businesses tend to be found. It's also worth noting that we Brits have long been observed as valuing our privacy very highly, thus the striking up of personal conversation in a business context doesn't sit well. Technically, there is a British accent: judging by its use by British characters in American films, Received Pronunciation (RP) would be identified by non-Brits as "a British accent," though it tends to be in over-the-top drama or comedy.

I think the British, even Londoners, really do enjoy talking to strangers, it's just that they won't initiate the conversation nor expect it if you initiate it. If you can find a humorous opening or something you can both complain about, they will open up to you.

My God is Alanna ever right! First week knowing my, now husband, I thought he hated me. Hed want to hang out but would tell me not to be 'daft' or he would jokingly call me a 'dickhead' or 'dont be a knobend'. Totally oblivious to any sort of English slang...I was like....WTF is this guys problem with me. But here we are...daily banter back and forth. I'd never have it any other way. Canadian banter...definitely different, lol. Great video Alanna!

Londoner here and I totally agree - Northerners are just so much warmer, approachable and friendly.

Alanna, believe me when I say that it can be just as jarring for us Brits when we suddenly find ourselves in a conversation with someone who has a broad regional accent - it can take a minute to adjust your ears 😂 you're spot on with everything in this video, though, which made it kinda hilarious to watch.

Alanna cracks me up, she never fails to make me either smile to chuckle to myself in mist of her videos. She definitely knows her onions about us Brits, gotta love her

If you come to Northwest England, certainly Liverpool or Manchester, the correct answer to the greeting “Alright?” Is …… “Alright”.

The banter & sarcasm stuff was on point, I would say that almost every British person is like an online troll from as soon as they start school till the day they die and I love it!

Casual conversations with strangers, my own personal rules 1. No Sport 2. No Politics 3. No Religion

Your intelligence and warmth always comes through in your content ❤