Alive - Mijke Oudshoorn (poem)
356
Publicado 2019-06-10
Instagram: @mijkeoudshoorn
Twitter: @DutchLovaticXx
Things were said
Rumors spread
Permission or not
My feelings could rot
No one asked how I felt
No one cared what I thought
My head kept spinning and my feelings got caught
Caught up in the indistinctness
Caught up in the pain
I knew I had to change but I had no way to explain
Explain what I was thinking
Explain what was going on
I really wanted to, but I had no idea what was actually wrong
I was looking for something
I was trying to believe
But I didn't even knew if there was something I wanted to achieve
I was praying for a miracle
For just some kind of way
That someone would come up to me and tell me it was all okay
And then there was this voice whispering silently through my thoughts
Telling me to have hope for it and promising me I wouldn't get lost
Trusting wasn't easy
Fighting even harder
But I eventually made the choice
And became the one that's smarter
I screamed, I fell, I fought, I cried
And slowly something inside of me died
That negative voice started to fade away
And my black-white zone turned into grey
No voices in my head will tear me down again
I showed them this is MY life and not longer that from them
I saw the stars in the skies, the flowers and the trees
And I begged to God to let me stay here, please
Let me enjoy the weather let me see the light
I never really realized, it was oh so bright
I took a step, inhaled a breath and started to revive
And suddenly I felt, that I was finally alive