How to Piss Off the English

One of the biggest insults thrown at us Brits by Americans, one that I've heard MANY times is "If it wasn't for us Americans, you'd all be speaking German right now".

One thing I love about Americans visiting the UK, is that they usually expect us to sound like either a member of the aristocracy, or a 19th century chimney sweep.

“Er, excuse me - there’s a queue here…” - which basically translates as “Get to the back of it, pal, before you get a slap.”

Has an Englishman the main thing that pisses me off is people who abuse our countryside. Enjoy it, be responsible, take only photos and leave only footprints.

In regards to the buying a round at the pub......... In working class English culture "He doesn't get his round in" is one of the darkest stains you can have on your character.

I would say chill out and enjoy your trip, British people are pretty easy going most of the time... but one thing not mentioned is you will get some annoyed looks if you're talking too loudly in public spaces

Polite Americans hate obnoxious queue jumpers, rudeness, loud talkers in the USA, too. We hope that most tourists do not behave this way. Love you England!

We don’t say “math” because “maths or mathematics” is the name given to a number of disciplines. Arithmetic, Algebra and Geometry are just three of those disciplines.

Yep. Called an Irish woman English once on accident 25 years ago. I still haven’t fully recovered from the withering look she gave me 😂😂😂

I randomly bumped into this bloke today in Chinatown in London, genuinely such a nice guy! I still can't believe I got to meet you dude, safe travels!

My best piece of advice for traveling in England is to mind your manners. Saying please and thank you make a massive difference in England, as it should.

"It doesn't rain all the time! I mean I know its raining NOW, but..." That's the most English thing you could have said 😂

I would add showing 2 fingers "the wrong way round"

As a Scot, can I say a big thank you Wolter. These tips will be great on my next visit to England. We love annoying English so hope they work. All the best!❤

I find it very easy to visit England as a Canadian as we share so many cultural/social norms

I think my addition would be "compare things here critically with your home country". If you say stuff is bigger/better/nicer/cheaper where you come from, someone's likely to advise you to return there...

In regards to American English pronunciations, most Brits will just brush past it and continue to use our pronunciation, whilst you use yours. Anyone who makes a big fuss about you speaking a different dialect of the same language is frankly someone you shouldn't waste your time on. No one here demands that people with a strong Yorkshire accent speak with a 'queen's English' accent. If they do, they're likely to get punched, deservedly. If someone understood you well enough to 'correct' you, then they understood you well enough in the first place.

Your description of our reaction to the words 'replacement bus service' is so completely, utterly accurate. I hadn't realised it was my soul leaving my body and the light snuffing out, but that's indeed what it is.

What irks me is people "incorrectly" queuing at the pub. Don't form an orderly line, crowd around the bar. It's the bartender's job to know who is next, and the customers to know who is next. I pointed out to an American he will lose his spot if he don't queue right.

In a TV series called Broadchurch, David Tennant's character did something even worse to the tea. He RE-HEATED it in a microwave. Judging from the reactions in the media, no-one knows, let alone cares, about what the rest of the episode was about.