Passive Aggressive Ways People Got Revenge - Part 1

If you have any stories you'd like to submit for future episodes please email me: revenge[at]beamazed[dot]com

I worked with a colleague who was just the worst. He’s the guy that would harass you and eat your food. I noticed one day that he kept saying to customers “I’ll get my manager over here so that he can REGURGITATE what I just said.” He obviously meant the word “reiterate” lol. I loved the puzzled look on the polite customer’s face. I loved it even more that none of them corrected him. I kept hearing him say it and just so he’d keep saying it I used it. A big wig from upstairs in the company came down and asked him how his sales pitch goes and he used the word “regurgitate” again. Mr. Big Wig went semi smiling to a look of disgust and said “Regurgitate? I don’t think you’re using that properly. Oh my please tell me you haven’t been using that word with our customers.” Mr. Big Wig laughed at him and never took him seriously again

4:11 - I actually have a similar story of revenge but my mom was the one who carried it out. When I was 8 years old, my mother lived in an apartment complex that did not provide an onsite laundry facility so we would often go to the laundry mat and walk around while we waited for our laundry to either be washed or dried. One day, we returned when we believed our laundry would be finished washing and we would then put it in the dryer to wash. Instead, we found our clothes on top of the next washing machine with the cycle still going with the remaining time on the machine. We ALWAYS returned on time as we didn't go very far and with the remaining time showing (let's say 5 minutes or so) told my mother that someone stole our wash cycle to do their own laundry. She was so angry, she bought a small bottle of bleach, opened the washing machine and dumped all of it inside. I asked her about it, you know understanding that what she did was wrong and she just shushed me and we took our clothes to the dryer and left the laundry mat again. When we returned we heard about the aftermath. A man returned to the washing machine not long after we left and PITCHED A FIT. He cursed and raved, throwing his clothes down onto the floor and demanded to know who had bleached his clothes. The laundry owner, a nice Asian woman whom we were on friendly terms with (she didn't know what we had done) told him to get out that he obviously had done something since she had been running the mat for many years and the only times someone's clothes were destroyed like that was because someone took another person's cycle. I learned a very valuable lesson that day. YOU DO NOT MESS WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S LAUNDRY!

A coworker, who had majored in psychology and didn't seem to realize that anyone was onto his dark side and phony niceties, aways noticed when I was going through an episode of depression, no matter how under control I felt it was. He'd give me a firm slap on the back and tell me to "shake it off, buddy" in his dominant, patronizing way which is the opposite of comforting o helpful. One morning he came into work looking and feeling pretty crappy. A couple hours later he came near where I was working, leaned on a bench, groaned an angry stomach groan and mentioned that he wasn't feeling well at all. Yep, I did. I turned to him, smiled, gave him a real loving, firm swat on his back and said "shake it off, buddy". He ran to the restroom and by the time he came out he headed straight home. Never did tell me to shake it off again :)

I had a neighbor from hell who used to drive into my grass as he drove by gassing his vehicle to make ruts. One day I was walking around in my yard with a pocketful of roofing nails and I think they slipped out because when I got back inside they were all gone. The next few times my neighbor spun out in my grass he ironically had flat tires. Interestingly he stopped doing it.

I worked in a beef processing facility in the late 80s. Someone kept eating my food out of the fridge in the cafeteria. So, I found out who it was, through word of mouth. I came to work the next day with brownies, made with exlax/chocolate icing. I also made it a point to make sure there was no toilet paper in any of the stalls in the men's bathroom. Sure enough, about 10 minutes before break, the guy snuck off the production line and crept into the cafeteria and ate all but 1 of the 4 brownies.... After break, he wasn't on the line for production. I called the supervisor over and suggested (with a giggle)he check in the restroom. The Supervisor came back about 20 minutes later laughing. Seems when he opened the door to the restroom, he heard the guy kind of whimpering. My supervisor asked if there was anything he could do and the guy said, please, just some toilet paper. He had pooped his pants and he had to get a ride home to change. Justice served.....

I was working in an assisted living home as a cook. One of the RNs was a two faced type - sweet as honey to your face, evil behind your back. So, I got fed up with what she was saying about me. One evening, she and the home's director were having dinner in my dining room. I bought out three plates. One for the director, two for her. When asked why the two plates, I said "One for each face." It got worse after that, but still worth it.

My husband, a mechanic at a car dealership, had a coworker who would get into his lunch 3-4 times a week and eat portions of all the items I packed for him. My husband asked him many times to stop doing it and the guy just got rude and laughed. If the guy was truly hungry, I would have sent food for him as well, but he was just being an a**hole and a bully. My husband is a pretty calm person, me…. Not so much. And don’t mess with what’s mine and my husband is mine. So one day I packed him two lunches with very explicit orders not to eat one of them. Sure enough he put the lunch on his box, like he did every day, and a-hole came by and stole it. Munching half of almost everything I packed for him. As usual he wasn’t even kind enough to rewrap the items he munched. My husband called me later and asked if I poisoned the lunch cause the guy was real sick. Now I would never poison someone. I didn’t want to hurt him, just teach him some manners and boundaries, I packed 2 chocolate brownies, made with chocolate X-lax, a ham sandwich with unflavored gelatin laxative in the mayo, a side of fruit sprinkled with hot salt. He crapped his brains out for a couple of days, and sh*t all over himself at work. He never said anything my husband, but he never took his lunch again either. He should have scheduled a colonoscopy, he was surely ready.

I had a neighbor in an apartment building who was always removing other people's laundry from the dryer before it was finished drying, even though we had a sign-up sheet noting what time we'd be finished and coming back to pick it up. One day I went down extra early and caught her in the act. I didn't say anything as I gathered my balled up pile of clothes from the table and watched her putting her stuff in the dryer, but I was pissed. (She also had a very nasty, entitled response when I mentioned the sign-up sheet.) Soooo on my way out I politely changed the setting to 'no heat' 😆😆

Once ( this was about 30 years ago ), i was a foreman gardener and one job was to mow extremely large lawns with a ride on mower. The lawn in question was a square surrounded on three sides by doubled fronted houses. I had a box mounted on the mower for removal of un-wanted objects spotted in the grass so i didn't wreck the blades by hitting stones etc. so i would collect them into the box to save walking all over the place. One morning i witnessed a front door opening and a large dog let out, which promptly left an enormous crap on the uncut grass and went back into the house and the door was then closed. I removed said crap with a trowel and replaced it on the front door step of the house and carried on cutting grass. All o.k. until lady of the house exited directly onto the same dogs crap on her doorstep, dog was then shouted at and woman put her shoes in the bin. Cutting the grass was much sweeter after that. Silent revenge.

In high school, a friend had trouble with someone breaking into his locker and stealing parts of his homework and snacks including homemade fudge. Being a math hobbyist, he left a dummy math homework page with legitimate looking work and wrong answers. Some of the bogus equations had expressions that sneaked in division by zero. He also made up some homemade fudge which had a couple of bars of Ex Lax. In fifth period math class, the thief was at the blackboard and pooped in his pants in front of the entire class. He also got an F for that homework assignment and the lowest grade for that day's homework assignment.

Someone kept taking peoples lunches, so I laced a roast beef sandwich with a box of ex-lax and told my boss that the culprit would show him/herself shortly. A few minutes later one of my coworkers flew out of the lunchroom headed for the restroom. Needless to say, when he finally left the restroom the boss was waiting for him with his last paycheck and escorted him off the property.

In my old neighborhood we'ed pile leaves by the curb for pickup. People would drive through the piles scattering them. A neighbor piled up a bunch of cinder blocks and covered them with leaves. You can imagine what happened next.

My supervisor at work insists that she gets to park in a spot with a nice shady tree during the summer. She says it's "hers" even though we don't have really assigned parking and if anyone else parks there she badgers them all day to move, whining to upper management and making everyone miserable until they move their car. On top of that, she constantly bullies her subordinates (myself and the other guy I work with, basically) to park outside the company lot in the public parking... saying that the company lot is for "supervisors". I found out one day that the parking spot she likes, next to the shady tree, technically is assigned to the IT guy, on paper. But he said he didn't like to park next to the tree because he got bird shit on his car. So I went out and bought a 5-pound bag of birdseed and shared it with our wild feathered friends out by the old parking lot tree. Her shiny red SUV looks a little less shiny these days.

My favorite revenge story I saw was from a guy whose lunch kept getting stolen at work. One day he made fajitas and soaked them in ghost peppers. He was sitting at his desk when he heard some chic start screaming bloody murder. He walked over to see what was happening to find his fajitas right in front of the screaming woman. So satisfying

During the energy crisis in the 70's, people were putting in brick chimneys and wood fireplaces. My boss collected partial payments as the work progressed but got stuck for the final 20% a couple of times. He would mortar a pane of glass 3 or 4 rows from the top of the chimney and wait for the call when their house filled with smoke the first time they started a fire. If they paid, he would take a hammer and break out the glass. If not, they would have to pay someone else to find and fix the problem.

For 3 years a co worker kept stealing my orange juice from the fridge and then topped it up with water. I caught on to it in the first week. For the rest of those 3 years he was only stealing 50% of my orange juice, the other 50% had already passed through me.

Years ago when we lived in the city, we were having problems with someone stealing our news paper. My wife, being awesome at Passive Aggressive revenge, got up before the Sun and loaded the newspaper with fresh dog poop and carefully put it back in it's rapper then placed it back outside. A couple of hours later the thief had struck again, the "loaded" newspaper was gone. Our newspaper was never stolen again. I love my wife!

in the army, i was sharing a barracks room with 3 other guys. One of them kept drinking my sodas so I gave bottles to guys that chewed tobaco to spit in. Once they were all fuul (6 of them) I put them in the fridge. I was lucky enough to hear a sudden and very loud wailing and then puking when the thief cracked one open and guzzled it after coming in from a particularly hot day in southern georgia.

My best example of passive aggressive revenge. 😡 I had someone who was slashing my tires every week at work and couldn't figure out who it was because they were wearing gloves. So I talked with security and they had me park in a very particular place and had unmarked police cars all around my car. The only person who walked up to my car had a big knife but got scared off by the cameras so they couldn't prosecute her. She didn't mess with my car again but I was out several thousand dollars and I wanted revenge something awful 😑 so I went down to the fish market on my day off and bought 5 pounds of shrimp. She happened to be working that day and had left her car unlocked. I hid the shrip every where! In her vents, under her seats but up in the springs so she couldn't see them just by looking, in her speakers, behind the plastic that went down the sides inside her car. I pulled it inside her door panels, shoved some in she shifter, under her hood, under her spare tire. And waited. As they started to rot she began to stink 😂🤣 she couldn't figure out what was causing the smell and she couldn't afford a new car, the guys in our maintenance department found a few of the shrimp and told her it would be ok then bit it kept getting worse 🤣😂🤣 she had to put up with it until they quit stinking on their own and that too a good while 🤣😂🤣😂 I know it was evil but best $10.00 I ever spent!😈