Criminals and Smartphones Don't Mix

⚖ This was fun. Any other dumb criminals I should cover? 🍋 Get 65% off with Hello Fresh using code LEGALEAGLE65 legaleagle.link/hellofresh

"Don't record your crimes" is basically an extension of the most important legal advice that all lawyers wish their clients would follow, and that advice is "Shut up."

"Ghosts disappered, aliens stopped visiting, and police started shooting unarmed people." Damn, truth.

I think recording your crimes is a fantastic idea. It helps get rid of any nagging reasonable doubt issues that might pop up at the trial.

The lady saying “it was just a joke we don’t steal” right after stealing is just so funny to me

I demand more Illegal Eagle giving us legal advice. He seems like such a cool guy.

100% DO keep recording your crimes. Post them everywhere. Send them to as many people you can't trust.

I recall they caught the BTK Killer in 2005 when he stupidly asked the police if they could track him through a floppy disk. They said no, because of course they did, and he got tracked down due to the metadata imbedded in his MS Word file. 🤣

Couple of years back there was a situation with an armed gunman trying to rob a local gas station. During the hold-up his cellphone rang and the dude not just actually went and answered it, but apparently also turned around for some privacy, whereupon one of the customers smashed him in the back of the head with a bottle of vodka (or possibly whiskey, the stories differ in that regard), dropping the robber to the ground and stunning him long enough for the other people present to dogpile him.

I will always be impressed at how you (seemingly) effortlessly juggle elegant professionalism and rank shitposing.

I work for New York City Transit… and we keep dealing with people who record themselves climbing on moving trains, breaking into places they shouldn’t be, and all around trashing our trains.

"While the phones may be smart, the criminals are still really dumb." Best line ever, lol!

In my previous job, I produced/inspected microfilm. Most of it was digitizing documents for record keeping and preservation. One of our regular customers was a smallish town's police department. While inspecting a roll of film, one case caught my eye. A teenager, who was in the custody of his mother, ran off and took his infant with him. He had been dealing with court ordered therapy and other assorted things for being in previous legal trouble. He even mailed his mother a letter teller her not to look for her and that she and the police would never find him. Well, they found him. They found him because he logged into his Xbox Live account while hiding out in his dad's basement.

"...ghosts disappeared, aliens stopped visiting, and police started shooting unarmed individuals..." Man, you nailed that one on the head but good.

I'm almost ashamed of how hard I laughed at "illegal eagle."

This is not legal advice but practical advice: DO NOT USE MILK OF YOU'VE BEEN PEPPER SPRAYED. Use water to wash it out! You do not want to risk milk in your eyes, you don't want it to start curdling or not leaving your eye cavity. Water is always the safest bet!

Reminds me of one of my friend's first investigations where a criminal took a picture of his hidden stash/lab in the middle of nowhere bragging about how nobody will ever find it... except the metadata had the exact GPS coordinates in there so it was found immediately.

"So, I mean, do you apologize to the cops for it?" "Not really." Love it, honestly.

“Police started shooting unarmed people.” Full stop, I love your content for exactly this reason. Desert-dry satire is best satire.

The irony of the "arrest" selfie photo is effing GLORIOUS 😂😂😂