Dr. Becky Kennedy: Protocols for Excellent Parenting & Improving Relationships of All Kinds

15:43 🛡 Boundaries are what we tell someone we will do and they require the other person to do nothing. This clear definition helps in assessing whether a boundary was properly set. 16:53 🛡 A boundary intervention shouldn't rely on a child's compliance but should involve actions taken by the parent to uphold the boundary, ensuring the parent maintains their role as a leader. 17:49 🛡 Setting boundaries may lead to uncomfortable situations, but it's essential for maintaining personal needs and roles within relationships, whether with children or in-laws. 19:09 🧠 Boundaries and empathy are not mutually exclusive in parenting; they are complementary forces that work together. 22:24 💡 When considering rewarding kids, it's important to evaluate the balance of rewards, punishments, and incentives within the framework of boundaries and empathy. 24:14 📚 Questioning the traditional approach to rewards and punishments in parenting, Dr. Becky Kennedy advocates for understanding the underlying assumptions and seeking better long-term strategies. 28:12 🏡 Kids inherently desire purpose and meaningful contribution within their family unit, which can be fostered through understanding and collaboration rather than solely relying on rewards or bribes. 31:27 🧠 Recognizing and respecting children's inherent desires and feelings is crucial, balancing the need for guidance with allowing space for their individual preferences and autonomy. 36:35 🔄 The concept of "impingement" involves navigating the balance between encouraging children to expand their comfort zones while respecting their inherent desires and boundaries, which is a nuanced aspect of parenting. 37:33 🏡 Dr. Becky Kennedy suggests using "family jobs" as a framework for parenting, defining roles like setting boundaries and validating children's experiences. 38:42 🤝 Acknowledging and validating children's feelings without letting those feelings dictate decisions helps build their confidence and self-trust. 39:52 🛌 Offering support and understanding to children while encouraging them to face uncomfortable situations helps them develop resilience and coping skills. 40:49 💡 Balancing between not letting children's feelings dictate decisions and respecting boundaries is crucial for effective parenting. 45:08 🧠 Saying "I believe you" to someone acknowledges their reality and fosters a sense of being heard, which is essential for building confidence and trust. 48:58 🤗 Validating children's emotions by saying "I believe you" instead of dismissing or minimizing their experiences helps them feel understood and supported. 51:30 🤝 Beginning conversations with "I'm so glad you're talking to me about this" and "I believe you" creates an open and supportive environment in various relationships, fostering trust and understanding. 56:02 🛠 Kids often blame themselves or doubt themselves after being yelled at, leading to difficulties in regulating emotions and trusting themselves. 57:53 💡 Repairing relationships with children starts with repairing with oneself as a parent, separating behavior from identity. 58:49 🗣 Apologizing to children should focus on genuine remorse without placing blame or expecting forgiveness, fostering trust and safety. 01:00:12 🔄 Simple yet potent phrases like "I believe you" are crucial for stress modulation and navigating parenting challenges in real-time. 01:02:15 🧠 Building emotional regulation skills in children requires consistent practice and simulations, not just reacting in the moment. 01:10:29 🤐 Sometimes, doing nothing in response to rudeness or outbursts can be more effective than engaging in a ping-pong match of words. 01:11:41 🤝 Validating children's feelings while setting boundaries helps them understand and manage their emotions in healthier ways. 01:12:49 🔒 Parents should balance between setting boundaries and fostering safety, avoiding being controlled by fear while ensuring children feel secure. 01:14:27 🛑 Parents should avoid corporal punishment, as it can lead to fear and intimidation in children, hindering the development of a healthy parent-child relationship. 01:15:24 🚸 Children, especially deeply feeling kids, may express intense emotions like tantrums and aggression due to their inability to regulate feelings effectively. 01:17:27 📈 The concept of "deeply feeling kids" resonates with many parents and individuals, indicating a growing awareness of children who experience emotions intensely. 01:19:36 🎬 Parents of deeply feeling kids can establish boundaries by communicating clearly and consistently, ensuring safety while validating their children's emotions. 01:22:59 🌟 Deeply feeling kids may demonstrate heightened sensitivity to sensory stimuli, affecting various aspects of their lives and interactions. 01:25:31 💔 Deeply feeling kids may struggle with feelings of shame and abandonment, making it challenging for them to express vulnerability and receive love. 01:27:59 🔍 There's a growing recognition of deeply feeling kids, potentially associated with factors like neurodivergence and environmental stimuli, impacting their emotional experiences. 01:29:37 🎭 Many successful performers likely fall into the category of deeply feeling individuals, as their art often evokes intense emotions and connections with audiences. 01:32:07 🕒 Dr. Becky Kennedy doesn't believe in timeouts or punishment for children, considering them ineffective and unhelpful. 01:33:55 📞 Prioritizing understanding the child's experience over blaming the other parent is crucial in co-parenting, focusing on communication and collaboration. 01:39:15 🤝 Working with, rather than against, children fosters successful communication and problem-solving, emphasizing teamwork and understanding. 01:41:48 📱 Dr. Becky emphasizes the importance of teaching children to tolerate frustration amidst today's instant gratification culture, critical for learning and resilience. 01:47:49 🎨 Encouraging children to embrace the learning space by tolerating frustration builds resilience and self-belief, essential for long-term success. 01:49:40 🧠 Understanding the neuroscience of resilience reveals the importance of doing hard things, which translates to success in various endeavors. 01:51:46 🧒🏽 It's crucial for parents to recognize that they haven't "messed up" their kids forever, acknowledging the challenges of parenting and advocating for available resources. 01:54:49 🚗 Emphasizing the metaphor of emotions as passengers in a car helps children understand that feelings shouldn't take over the driver's seat. 01:55:32 💡 Encouraging children to reflect on their successes helps reinforce positive behavior and builds resilience. 01:59:27 🤔 Teaching children to recognize and label a wide range of emotions fosters emotional intelligence and resilience. 02:02:20 👩‍👧‍👦 Understanding the developmental needs of adolescents includes acknowledging their need for independence, identity formation, and continued connection with parents. 02:07:41 🔄 Childhood attachment circuits persist into adulthood, influencing relationships. 02:09:23 🚸 Children's exploratory behavior is tethered by periodic checks for parental presence. 02:10:31 💬 Remind children of unconditional love regardless of behavior, without condoning negative actions. 02:12:08 🤝 Approach teen relationships by seeking understanding rather than judgment. 02:13:16 📋 Family meetings can be beneficial for problem-solving and fostering understanding. 02:14:39 💡 In ongoing conflicts, involve children in problem-solving to empower and build trust. 02:15:18 🏠 Parents' self-care and boundaries are essential for healthy family dynamics. 02:17:53 🔥 Parental rage often stems from unmet personal needs, highlighting the importance of self-care. 02:19:45 🌱 Children learn about adult relationships through parental behavior and communication. 02:22:17 🚨 Recognize signs of distress in teens and intervene when their behavior affects overall functioning. 02:26:11 💡 Seeking additional help for family issues is a sign of strength and what's right with a family, not just an indication of problems. 02:26:54 💬 Parents should maintain boundaries and enforce necessary interventions for their child's well-being, even if it means overcoming resistance or objections. 02:28:43 🌱 Adolescence is a crucial period where parents need to transition from being the pilot to empowering their teens to take control of their lives gradually. 02:31:16 🌟 It's healthy for children to have various sources of positive influence and guidance beyond their parents, which contributes to their overall development. 02:38:35 ⚠ Entitlement often stems from a deep fear of frustration, where individuals expect immediate gratification and struggle to tolerate discomfort or setbacks. 02:41:24 🔀 Balancing gratitude with healthy entitlement requires parents to provide experiences that include frustration and challenges, regardless of financial means. 02:43:26 🛒 Teach kids life lessons by involving them in everyday tasks and errands, showing them that sometimes they have to do things they don't want to do. 02:45:31 💰 Consider your goals when deciding whether to pay kids for chores; focus on teaching responsibility and the value of contributing to the household. 02:47:37 🌱 Dr. Becky Kennedy emphasizes translating deep thoughts into practical strategies, aiming to provide actio

This is probably one of my favorite podcasts I have ever listen to. I have two kids and my 4 year old son is my “tough kid” to the point where I am worried about Kindergarten in September and the topic of meds being brought up at school. There were times when I had to pause this podcast to keep myself from crying because it hit so close to home. I had no idea my parenting strategies were making him feel so isolated and unsafe. That night I used the cues from this podcast and put away my assumptions I thought were correct/true. It completely changed the tone in the family dynamics. My son was literally coming to me and leaning into me because I used the terms I believe you, your feelings are right, I am going to keep you safe. We got through dinner, bath time, and bedtime without the soul draining battles that are our rituals. For me, this podcast changed the course of my relationship with my son. I have a fresh perspective of his “bad kid” status and finally feel like I have some tools to reach him on a level that feels genuine to him. Just really blew my mind. When Dr. Kennedy said “ I think you have a good kid” the waterworks started. Also, the way she is open about her imperfect parenting. Especially the occasional yelling admission was so reassuring that sometimes your best isn’t great but the permission to move on from it… chef’s kiss. Thank you for the lab but especially for this one

¡Hola Profe! Parenting is hard. It's 24/7,no vacation and no retirement. It is most underrated and most valuable job in the world,fueled only with love. Thank You for all Your hard work.

This should be required viewing for ALL parents and wannabe parents! I am a 72 year old grandma and wish I knew all of this 50 years ago. Thanks!

This episode made me feel closer to my mom. I’m an 18 yo college student who recently left home and this episode honestly made me cry because of how grateful I am for my mother. Thank you for making me feel grateful.

I cried a few times throughout this episode. As a 34 yo woman who's trying to (re)parent myself and learning how to communicate appropriately with the people around me... wow! I don't have enough words to describe how this whole conversation felt. It has brought some AMAZING actionable tools to improve my relationship with myself and other (hopefully I'd be able to implement them) and with such love and clarity. I don't have kids and don't know if i will ever be equipped to do that, but I now think I was (and probably still am) a 'deeply feeling kid'... trying to heal, understand and support myself. Amazing episode!!❤❤❤ thank you for this

The value of this conversation cannot be overstated. Fantastic.

This is the type of episode that, as a parent, I should listen to once a month. It all sounds so wonderful and makes sense when listening to it, but for some reason, my brain kicks it out the window within a short timeline. The tools and the healthy boundaries are so wonderful to keep as a running narrative when raising your children.

I would love to hear a podcast on "unschooling"/ "homeschooling"/ "alternative education". Thank you for what you do! ❤

These discussions are necessary now more than ever! We need to stop passing down generations of unresolved issues unintentionally…thank you for doing this! If we can create mindful kids by being mindful parents….could you imagine the changes in the world? Worth it for something you truly love…being responsible for another life (well, 4 over here) has been a lesson in humility, 💯🙏

50 minutes in and this is the most enlightening huberman episode I’ve listened to yet. I don’t have children but I have nieces and nephews and people who work for me and this content is so clear and simple to digest. Goood shtuff

This episode couldn't have come at a better time for my wife and I. We're expecting our first child in June this year and I know these protocols will be invaluable to us!

All of my time listening to Prof. Huberman has been targeted towards one goal: becoming a better father and husband. Sir, along with many others, you have helped improve my life more than I ever thought possible. Now, this interview exists. I'm all in on this one, my good man.

As an auntie who doesn't plan on having children, I think they are our greatest teachers. That boundless energy and pure authenticity they have can teach us so much.

Yippee! More about children please. She grows and im lost! 😅

Andrew is sooo incredibly intelligent. I loved watching him stumble thru a subject that he is obviously uncomfortable with. Even though the vernacular and theories aren’t what he is used to, his fascination with the subject was visible. Awesome interview!!

I watch every single week and I’M SO EXCITED for this 🎉❤ I’m a teacher and mother of 2, plus I educate parents on discipline. I really love Dr. Becky’s work. Thank you, Dr. Huberman!

I laughed, I cried, I relistened three times. Thank you so so much for this.

As a Special Education teacher and a sport coach I found this information valuable. Thank you for introducing me to Dr. Kennedy - I will continue to learn from her and will recommend this pod and her info. to the parents/teachers/coaches I work with.

Wish I could've viewed this when my kiddos were small. The thing about parenting skills is that one skill may work for one kid and not the other. They are all vastly different.