5 Parenting Tips for Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant Kids | Tameka Montgomery | TED

What an amzming mother to have! Thankful that her and her husband have such intentionality in their parenting.

I'd simply want my kids to be happy and have a full human experience, if that's even possible in today's consumerist, narcissistic world. Spending your life chasing "success" is folly.

so childhood is gonna be about what you will become as an adult instead of just enjoying childhood. I disagree with several methods such as never paying for things they want. I call that a gift, i fear never giving them gifts will make them think later on that you need to "earn" acts of kindness from others. Let's not forget giving children gifts is not only about giving them a toy they want, it is a way of showing them affection as they feel loved when you do willingly something to make them happy. I find it sad to take that away.

Those were great success stories, but I would like to hear more about how she handles teaching kids about FAILING successfully. When their ideas don't pan out, when they don't get enough for the tickets, etc. How do you address their disappointment and disaffection then without abandoning the method you've established?

I'm glad this technique works for you -and there were a lot of good points in this talk; however, training children to chase money can only create the wrong kind of resilience

Conceptually I get it but I wonder if this approach might condition kids to feel like everything they do needs to have a "return" (e.g., financial gain). It could potentially take away their passion for things that they are intrinsically interested in.

This is powerful truth. I've seen the same things at work. I think I would add one more idea to the mix however. The idea of how to empower others with your economic choices. When kids learn that their growth and development can make things better for a larger group or the world, it's even more compelling than just realizing their power to fulfill their own needs. For instance, the children of the speakers raised the funds to go to Tanzania, exposing them to the situation of people in another country. They learned to take a cultural/historical artifact and create a superhero design based on that artifact. With the larger consciousness of how one's own responsible action can change perspectives and opportunities for others, they are reinforced in feeling value and pride in their own choices. Good job, Mom and Dad!

Let them be Children. Don’t put any method or train as they are not humans. Let them learn and grow

I think the title of this video is slightly misleading well the resilient part...this is more about raising kids to make money and I don't know if this truly translates to resilience....also any kid that can raise close to a $1000 on their own is already living a different type of life...The average parent is barely making that in a month...in the end we need to raise children to be good human beings...yes we want them to be self sufficient and take risks but raising them this way I think perpetuates the broken society that we already live in and perhaps they'll thrive in it but we should all want better.

I think parenting is a rebirth for parents themselves and give amazing opportunities to bring up their children through all stages of development. We as parents grow and learn with each other. I am a 28 years old full-time worker who is thinking about how to raise my children appropriately. There are so much to learn!

Children need to live their nature as Explorers and seekers, being allowed to do and pursuit what they can burn for - off self-learning, testing, exploring

Kids become strong like superheroes when they face real challenges, learning how to solve problems and never give up. Each challenge is like a puzzle piece that makes them even tougher!🙃

I don't think kids' adults who are entrepreneurial are really chasing money. I think to want your own business, find solutions to global issues, trying to change the world aren't cha Ching $$$. I taught my grandkids when they wanted things to get lawn jobs, snow removal, they did and earned what the needed. It was fun to watch them get excited about earning and finding ways to expand that ... and I saw them help people for nothing, donate time and money when needs came up at church of school. I still watch them as adults do this!

Agree!!! I wish my parents would’ve had this same mindset!👏👏👏

This is definitely resonating. There is a spectrum for everything. Like not paying for family holidays for your kids is a bit harsh. Most people I know are not entitled brats and they got an allowance and family holidays paid for. I think there is a risk of causing resentment when you are denying your kids too much. But I’m all for the problem solving part to figure out how to get what you want in a clever and practical way where you create value for others, not steel or con them because you can’t figure out another way to do it

Fantastic ideas & Strategies! Thats exactly what I & my family members would have needed when growing up. Thanks for the info.Will definitely use it on my kids.

I think this is great. I learned a lot from this. I may take it and put my own spin on it but great TED talk.

Insightful video. :) i do agree on the part on reducing prosperity though. kids nowadays have lots of things, and having them come too easily will spoil them. Also yes, allowing them to solve their own problems will help them become more resilient. The key is to make them understand that if they never quit, they wont fail. i used to reward kids with money for doing chores as well, but after sometime, i stopped. Because doing chores are their responsibility, and not something to be celebrated when done. I dont want my kid to grow up having "whats in for me?" mentality even for common things like doing the laundry. The day you stopped rewarding "daddy dollars", they stopped doing chores - I dont think parents want that to happen. Instead of giving money, I'd prefer positive reinforcement like giving praises, hugs and kisses to encourage a simple good behaviour.

Such an inspirational speech! Thank you so much for sharing this journey of problem-solving, entrepreneurship, and self reliance, which is such a huge component of fulfilled life. Blessings.

When I was nine I was grooming dogs, to earn extra money. By twelve I was pet-sitting, my needs were met by my family. However, if I wanted something I earned it! And this is something I teach my daughters aged fifteen and seven. I was not entitled, we must work. Thank you for this talk 💌!