The Personality of Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse #narcissistic #narcissism #emotionalabuse

As a reminder - if my videos resonate with you and you are tired of learning about the narcissist and yet still feeling stuck - if you're ready to now turn your focus on you and how you can HEAL from this horrific abuse, come join me live on zoom in the School of Transformation. I meet live weekly with survivors from all over the world that are doing the inner work to overcome the cptsd that narcissistic abuse creates! There are 9-12 live zoom mtgs each month - most are recorded in case you are unable to attend live! I'll leave the link here for you to see if it's a good fit for you: www.micheleleenieves.com/school-of-transformation

it takes longer to realise you are being abused when there is not physical abuse, and the person is actually a pillar in the community.

Self abandonment, toxic shame, harsh inner critic, social anxiety, emotional flashbacks are signs of CTPSD

I’m so hyper vigilant, it’s exhausting! I’m always exhausted. I guess the ruminations of every conversation or interaction drives me crazy.

My mother died on Feb. 21. I am sorry to say it has been a relief. I am the victim of narcissistic abuse.

I’m on alert always. Super attentive, overly anxious, cautious, on edge. Therefore, I read people’s footsteps, how they close doors, place things down, the breaths they take, sighs they make etc….its so exhausting….gotta make it stop.

Why does nobody mention PTSD, dissociation, social anxiety, agoraphobia. That can be caused after this type of abuse

100% Constantly living in anxiety especially upon waking up in the morning.

I quit singing, laughing and lived on red alert for 15 years. I got cancer twice. I’m out of there now and will never go back.

My mother's mom was a huge narcissist.  Everything was always about HER.  My mom was very traumatized growing up.  Her trauma meant that my sister and I suffered the second hand effects.  Not much is ever said about the grandchildren of a narcissist, but I can tell you that the currents still run through.  My sister and I took parenting classes, got therapy, and swore that we would break the chain.  I think we did fairly well.

Starts at 6:20 1. self abandonment 2. toxic shame 3. harsh inner critic 4. social anxiety 5. emotional flashbacks

I describe the feeling as my inner light has been extinguished. Narcissists are parasites that should be avoided at all costs

Learning self approval was my saviour from narcissistic abuse. However, I am now experiencing red flag syndrome and struggle to trust anyone who displays any signs of narcissism, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. I will never walk on eggshells again.

"I had to teach myself to laugh again." Yes, that resonates very deeply. Laughing and crying were two behaviors that are no longer regularly present in my life experience, and when it does happen, it is manic.

While caring for my aging malignant narcissistic mother I learned origami on YouTube, bought a peaceful beach scene paint by number kit, and watched numerous YouTube videos pertaining to narcissism. Those hobbies got me through my mother’s mental, emotional, and verbal abuse. Through prayer/ many conversations with God He opened up an opportunity for me to leave my obligation to take care of my mom and I thank Him everyday for the peace and joy I am experiencing. Don’t let learned helplessness hold you back from a future filled with opportunity and tranquillity.

The loss of executive function that narcissistic abuse has caused is the single most destructive manifestation of CPTSD for me. It turns business and personal life into a wasteland because important things just never get done. If coercion has been a component of your relationships, this is especially true. When the narcissist disappears, along with them goes your means of command and control. It can be extremely difficult to learn to think independently and execute tasks, and life can become a place cluttered with broken functions and institutions. This has been by far the most vexing and depressing part of recovery.

You were so blessed to find a therapist who knew what was going on. 🌸

My dad was an extreme narcissist, absolute perfect textbook example. When I was a child he was also physically abusive on a few occasions and there was so much emphasis on this as being the cause of my trauma. My mom and all of the therapists I was taken to were constantly focused on these instances of physical abuse and neglect and though they were traumatic, I have come to realize that the most traumatic aspect of his abuse was not physical. It was all of his lies and manipulation and psychologically twisting my brain to convince me I was worthless and broken. That has been the hardest thing to overcome because it turned me into a highly anxious people pleaser with no self esteme for most of my child, teen and early adult years. I also could not recognize for a long time when "friends" and other people were mistreating me because in comparison to my dad, their bad behavior was so mild. When other people acted disappointed or unfairly judgemental towards me, I ALWAYS blamed myself, only to wake up all these years later, reflect on it, and can now see how unfair they were being and how bad my so called "friends" were towards me. At least my head is more clear these days, I can see abusive or even just mildly unfair treatment from others that needs to be corrected. I don't have this need anymore for people to like me or win their approval.

I completely understand, miss my out of control laughter. I lived for it. My innocence and vulnerability is gone.

When I divorced my Narcissist 2021 (16 years together) …he moved out and I was left living in the walls in which years of narcissistic abuse happened. After 2 years of struggling to get out of depression, even though I was soooo happy now…when I came “home” I just felt trapped still. My friends would even say “don’t be a victim” as if I needed to just get over it. So not only did I sell my house, I moved all the way across country to start a new life. I’m struggling so hard financially now and the future is freighting… but I am so free mentally. I’m gaining my memory functions back slowly. I’m starting to feel those “drives” I used to feel. Like cooking and creating. My anxiety is becoming more manageable and I’m starting to become this person I was 16 years ago. But I had to move for this to happen. I still carry guilt. Like everyday. What could have I done better? Did I really need to sell my house? But your message was EXACTLY what I needed to hear for it all to make sense. I also have been able to see much more clearly, with distance and space my past life, how many others in my life are projecting a narcissistic personality toward me…making me instantly go back to those feelings you explained. I can see now you’re SO right. I stop thinking for myself in a way. It hurts more that those close to me just wrote me off as “mental”. Always asking “what’s wrong?” I didn’t know. I couldn’t explain it. Now, THREE YEARS LATER…I’m starting to understand. I just knew living where I was, I’d never heal. I couldn’t explain it. No one believed me (or so it felt) so I just did it. I moved. And I do not regret it. But now in my new life …age 45… I’m literally having to start all over again. Happy to say I’m thinking about MY future again. Im excited about my career possibilities again and I’ve even started writing children stories. I absolutely could not get my brain to function before I moved out of that house. Until I saw this today I just couldn’t explain it. I just looked “crazy” to everyone. Thank you for your words. It really means a lot to me. Thank you. It’s a peace of mind I didn’t expect to have today. Thank you