How To Say NO Without Feeling Guilty
102,865
Published 2019-11-13
But the truth is, saying 'no' doesn't mean we have to feel any of these things if we're able to change our mindset around what it means when we say no, and if we also have a step by step process to follow when doing so. So here it is!
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#peoplepleasing #sayno #boundaries
All Comments (21)
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Saying NO is saying yes to yourself, put yourself first and your best interests. It may be hard when we feel we are disappointing others, but by saying yes, you are only disappointing yourself !! We can't please everyone...!
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When time is so precious, NO is the most powerful tool you have
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I’m finally learning that I don’t have to give lengthy explanations for why I can’t or don’t want to commit to something. I have FINALLY learned I can only handle so many things at a time especially as I get older. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy.
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I have been manipulated as I am an empathetic person. Same people putting me on the spot and asking for favours. I am now setting boundaries and learning to decline requests. I refuse to suffer from BENEVOLENCE FATIGUE any longer.
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This is favorite concise way to be turned down, “No, but thank you for thinking of me.” Another option, especially if people are rushed or in a chaotic/confused moment, is- “I will give that some thought, but if you are on a time crunch or you don’t hear back from me soon enough then my answer will have to be no.”
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Omg it’s sooo hard 🤣 like texting someone no is still easier, bc I can give myself time to think about my answer. But when they’re face to face I START Sweating 💀
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Sometimes when you tell people no, they get upset about it. It's usually because of their egos. They got it in their heads that you have to say yes in spite of the evidence to the contrary. Healthy boundaries means knowing that you can say no when you have to. I suggest that people should use this to their advantage. Whenever I hear "What do you mean no?" part of me wants to laugh in spite of how annoying this is. What else would I mean?
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Wow I realize that I need to say no without feeling guilty. The part about being kind resonated with me. I can be abrupt. I will keep these tips in mind. Often I just don’t reply back and then need to eventually tell the person no.
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I started crying watching this. I have had a few “friends” for many, MANY years, and over those years, they turned bad. I’m so afraid of saying no to them because they get very mad and heartbroken and leave me. But they are just about the only friends I have left right now
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I have a friend who simply doesn't reply, instead of saying "no."
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Love is not love if there is no choice. That is why God created humans with free will. (just elaborating on "generosity is not generosity without boundaries.")
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It took me the last few years to say no. The people we bring into our lives or our family can be the 1st people to cause the worst destruction in our lives. Those people who ask favors don't feel guilty! They get mad when we say no. They'll find someone else and they usually have a list.
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As a yoga instructor, a family member asked if I would teach them a (free) yoga class weekly. In the past, I would have just said yes. BUT I'm proud of myself for saying, "Let's start with one class, and see how it goes." No more locking myself down and getting super overwhelmed. My time is important and I have many things I'm working toward on my own time!
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A tip that I particularly like to share with my clients is to make the decision to say, "no" in advance. It’s can be super helpful to decide these things in advance so that you’re not trying to make decisions on the fly in a situation where you feel pressured to make somebody else happy.
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I used to feel bad about not doing things for people, but I had to put my foot down to stop myself from being overburdened!! ❤️ I’m always super excited for your insight, your videos are always a highlight of my day.
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Generosity is not generosity without boundaries!❣ specifical lesson
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Hi, I’m a super empath, and my favorite word is No. By saying no to someone you’re making yourself fell very proud, and will also make you smile or laugh and grow into a happier human. PS, if your with a narcissist say No to that relationship quickly!!
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I needed this talk this week. I set some boundaries with my coworkers last week - granted the execution wasn't the best, but I should be able to say no and not feel like I'm going to get shamed or talked down to. Keeping this as a guide as someone who is a people pleaser, it's going to be massively helpful for my mental health and wellbeing. I've never gained the skills to really say "no" in a way that has been productive. Thank you!
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"I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request." Captain Barbossa--Pirates of the Caribbean
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I needed this so much. Most of the time I find myself swamped with other's activities and feel so drained. And then I isolate and stay away from everything so much that I end up on extremes. I don't to be this stress ball anymore.
