Self-Compassion: Learn How to Face Your Flaws With Love and Courage
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Published 2019-11-14
Self-compassion is an essential skill if you're human because we all mess up, make mistakes, and do dumb things. By learning self-compassion you can develop greater love and more courage and confidence to face a problem again and do better next time.
In this video I teach three essential steps of self-compassion: acknowledging your pain, acknowledging your humanness, and being kind to yourself.
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Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
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All Comments (21)
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It's also worth mentioning that self compassion feels really awkward at first. Your brain will likely fight it. It takes practice to actually believe yourself. Therapy/therapy videos and journaling are really helpful in my experience, it made the practicing a little smoother. I still struggle with self compassion but at least I went from being harsh 90% of the time to 75% of the time and even that makes a heck of a difference. You actually have a little room to breathe.
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You have the calmest voice ever
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Well, that certainly started me crying. I don't think i've ever shown myself compassion in my 57 years of living. Thank you!
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I am a therapist, and someone who struggles with anxiety. I stumbled upon your videos looking for resources during this hard time, and feel so thankful for finding you! I appreciate not only your vulnerability, but your down to earth tone and way you explain the brain. Thank you.
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Yes! Our self talk is worse than what another person would say....
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When I had a panic attack, I actually rubbed my arm and told myself - “i understand - you’re healing too.” I think it helped me. Every time I felt shame about the attack, I immediately said sorry and pat myself and said “you’re healing, like I am healing.” It made me feel better and helped me cope with it.
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Many years ago a study was done on college students to study “Resilience”…. Surprisingly (or not), the students who had greater self-compassion bounced back quicker than the students with high self-esteem. Makes us want to rethink what builds a stronger person…
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I started doing stuff like this, and it helps calm me down. I even stand in front of the mirror and say positive things to myself outloud. Seems silly, but it works for me.
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I've always heard the term "self love" and never really understood how to go about doing that. It's so hard to step outside of yourself and look at yourself objectively when you are so distraught and consumed with negative thoughts and emotions. I am definitely the type to beat myself up. But that tip of "how would you talk to a friend" has flipped a switch for me, for sure. Thank you for sharing. I hope I can remember to be kinder to myself.
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You all know why we here
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One of the hardest to remember self care practices that basically fights against a lot of the things I was taught in childhood
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When we are there for ourselves, this compassion for ourselves also awakens compassion for others.
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I don't know if I've said this before, but everyone that knows you should be really lucky. You have a very pleasant, approachable and gentle manner. Reminds me of a very loving teacher in my school over 30 years ago. Everyone loved her, especially the mischievous kids, the "failures" that repeated years and sat on the back benches. She spoke the same way and gave special attention to weaker students. She also kept family secrets of kids and helped out those she could. She was a godmother to many. Well, I guess I'm old, since I'm going on nostalgia trips out here in the comments section.
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"self-compassion gives you the courage to try again next time" is what I needed to hear today. thank you. I could not only be more compassionate toward myself but toward others.
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It's great to see a woman that confident enough to share her vulnerable feelings. After two relationships with women that don't share emotionally things will happen more slowly next time. Thankyou for sharing.
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I really appreciate your authenticity. Thank you for sharing this important wisdom in such a clear and compassionate way. 🙏🙏🙏
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U keep ur videos precise and talk to the point ,instead of giving long lectures. That's what i like about u. And i just love ambiance of ur home.🙂
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I have denied myself compassion for 70 years despite being a victim of severe, early and prolonged abuse and having a serious genetic syndrome causing great pain and difficulties. Thankyou for suggesting this is even possible.
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Great advice! Self-compassion gives us power to be courageous. It is true, never thought about it that way. Thank you.
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When you are compassionate to your self, you can be compassionate to others.
