Jordan Peterson: The Development of Aggressive Children

My parents didn’t teach me anything. I was to stay outside and be quiet all the time. I have ADHD. That wasn’t possible. My dad was angry with me all the time. Said I was slow, stupid, hot tempered, and didn’t learn. He said I would never get married and blah blah blah. My mom was there but not there. I had few friends as a kid. I didn’t understand why no one wanted me around. It really broke my heart at 6 years old until I was 13. I then realized I wasn’t the problem. I was already in a state of depression and hated myself for a long time. I still struggle with keeping friends because I feel like everyone is fake. Trauma has really hurt me social wise. I haven’t spoken to my dad in 18 yrs. Don’t plan on it either. I have 6 kids now and I took them to the park all the time so they could learn to socialize and on vacations a lot. I made sure I taught them affection and compassion because my parents didn’t do that with me. My whole family is toxic so I keep my kids away from them. I’m glad I didn’t turn out like my parents. I left at 16.

When my wife and I were raising our daughters the thing we noticed about other parents was the total lack of interest by the parents for their kids. Children act out to gain attention but many parents instead ignore even the acting out! The kids just seem to be wild except for feeding and watering. Then thrust upon the schools as substitute parents which does not help things at all. Very little parent influences in kids lives, my wife and I took turns with the kids, took them on vacations, went to the playground together, always used everything we did as a teaching and learning opportunity. We showed them flowers, how to be friendly to animals, how to clean their rooms, table manners, please and thank you, how to share, the list is endless and although I’m older now I’m still a parent and my kids ask me about things. Most parents today just think being a parent means piping the kid out and let the school raise them. We have been heading toward catastrophe for a long time.

My father grew up without a father and naturally didn’t know how to be one, luckily I watched this lecture and many others when my son was 2-3yo and I have successfully cut the chain of fatherless family with my generation. My relationship with my now 8year old son is well above average. Thank you Dr. Jordan Peterson.

My son was aggressive with other children as a toddler. I was convinced to bring him to the Dr to see if he was hyperactive which of course is now ADHD. The doctor listened and in the end asked only one question. Does he sleep all night? I said yes always. He said stop worrying and he will grow out of the behaviors. He was right. 100%. Such wisdom. Thanks Dr Joe!

As a child I was extremely talkative and very active. My mom didn't medicate me, thank God! Allowing me to get my energy out and with redirection, it worked it's self out. Naturally.

This is exactly why judo works so well with kids who are too agressive or hyper and are constantly pushing other ppl's boundaries: rough and tumble play combined with strict rules and constant ceremonial structures of how to behave with each other.

As a father to a boy who is approaching 2 years old, I am extremely grateful to have found Jordan Peterson and this clip in particular. My son is already displaying acts of aggression and knowing how to socialize him going forward is extremely valuable and eye-opening for me. Thank you so much, Dr. Peterson 👍

He just explained almost every mass shooter or serial killer ever. I’m sure there are some exceptions out there but this was by far the best explanation I’ve seen, yet no one has talked about it. I can only assume it’s because it points a big fat finger at the failures of us as parents and a society as a whole. I guess it’s just easier to blame a gun than to actually reflect upon yourself and the mistakes you made as a parent.

So true! Children need rough & tumble play. Children need outdoor play, especially nowadays.. Jordan Peterson is always so insightful and wise. Thank you 🌞

Being misunderstood during elementary years was awful for me specially being a female. I never had problems with girls but I fought a lot with males because I couldn’t stand being touch or hug I was aggressive because my parents physically fought constantly and I was a punching bag as well so by the age of 7 I was spell from my third grade( I was ahead in school ) I was constantly criticize by teachers, principal and other parent because I was not able to settle down “ accordingly” being quite and staying on my seat was not my strength but no one ever asked what’s going on with me at home ? ever they just pointed the finger at me and Thank God I was never put on meds because now as adult I know 100% my problem was environmental and it came from home. I went to college and moved out on my own by the age of 19 because I was still being abuse. I found God and my life changed dramatically and I grew out of my adhd.

I was an interventionist at a very low income school one year. They were desperate because several teachers called out sick, including the teacher I assisted most. So here i was unqualified and subbing for a kinder class. They immediately took advantage lol. But something i discovered about them was they would hone their attention better when I gave them more than the usual recess breaks. And on those breaks we would do an easy choreographed dance. The kids loved it so much, they would beg the teacher for the rest of the year to do this dance. She allowed it and they even performed it at their promotion. It was eye opening and taught me a lot about children in my own life. Best experience ever.

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I have 4 boys and one of them has trouble with being overly aggressive. I have learned to make him exercise when he is getting aggressive. I’ll send him to climb or pull up on something and that seems to help him.

I m a small childcare provider. I use outdoor play as most of teaching. We are outdoors most of the day of most days. Even in warm rain and sunny winter days. I m aware that kids need to run and jump and explore. I wish more parents would jump onto this bandwagon. I had to tell parents years ago that there are no handheld devices in my childcare at all. Years ago. Yet I still have parents asking me to allow it. Boldly bringing it in for their child. There child will “melt down” (parents words. And in front of the kid) without it they say. I just hold my ground. I m lucky in that my childcare isn’t in my actual home - it’s a separate area all it’s own. I have no TV over there at all. Educational toys along with a lot of imagination play based items. Most days it’s a day of outdoors with sand box, water, swings, slides and climbing, an entire kids garden with sunflowers, small cukes and mini tomatoes I plant and care for with them, a climbing structure, playhouse, big wooden box for a “stove”, sinks, lots of aluminum pots, pans, colanders, muffin tins, and soup spoons, tree trunks placed here and there for seats, small tables or just for rolling around the yard. All this for imagination and mud play. I ve recently incorporated a digging area for small digging vehicles with rock pile and small sticks. Most kids are super happy with all this. I change them into clothes that I buy second hand so they can get as dirty as they want. I just wash arms hands legs feet and faces at outdoor wash station and changed them into their clothes and shoes (they re barefoot here if they want anytime they want except for cold weather days obviously) for pick up. We have small preschool moments under the shaded patio and for those who nap I set play pens or cots on shaded patio. I cook/prepare snacks and lunch and we all eat outside. BUT there are more and more children I m noticing who don’t want to have any involvement in any of this. The imagination of some children is just not there. I notice they don’t seem to know how to play or how to play for longer than a minute or two. They want TV. They want Tablet. They want MY phone and melt down when I simply say no. The Emotional Quotient of more and more of this society’s children is extremely on the edge. They end up screaming, crying at the drop of a hat, thrashing around, slapping out, going to another child and grabbing something from them to then throw it in anger or just simply barge in and destroy what others have been playing with. When I speak to the parents about it it is one excuse after the other. It’s a very disturbing place they are heading to.

I was aggressive as a child because I was being abused by adults at the time .My time of youthful training was full of violent behaviour by people I looked up for leaning.I still had compassion for the abusers ,I leaned this as an as an child .I spent many years in and out of of children Court and spent time in youth training farms for violent crimes In the back of my mind I know I was heading to the adult jail if I continued . Thank God I changed my ways in my youth .I choses my own path in Stead of the path I could have gone down.

I have a very aggressive son. I absolutely fell in love with my children, immediately. I left work to be home as soon as he was born. I read so many parenting books. I played with my children, baked with my children, did chores with my children, and read to them every day. My son's behavior was often quite bad when he was young, but a lot of it was wild exuberance for life. But he also had angry fits that were intense. I would physically hold him in my arms while he screamed and scratched and head butted. It might last 30 minutes to more than an hour before he would fall asleep from exhaustion. I was determined not to let him win. None of my friends had children who behaved like him. I worried he would eventually end up in prison. I prayed constantly. We later found out that red dye #40 caused this terrible rage. It was obvious one day after a peaceful time together that was followed by a complete flip in his behavior. He drank a Big Red soda in between. After a couple of snack mistakes, we learned that the amount of dye mattered. The tiniest amount makes him angry but a large amount makes him psychotic. He's grown now and reads labels carefully. He has friends and a fiance. He works hard, hunts, fishes, and hikes. He is very social. He still has an aggressive bend to his personality. But he is always trying to figure people and situations out. My husband and I joke that if he had been left alone he would be the leader of a gang. I am actually amazed at how well he is doing. I pray he continues to mature in a positive way.

"don't hit the other kids over the head with a truck more then absolutely necessary" lmfao 🤣

OMG! This is so well explained. The worst part is that some parents don't see their children as aggressive as the rest of the people do. And we are forced to smile at them. Thanks!!

Every time I listen to Dr Peterson I learn something about myself or a loved one. Thanks

im a antisocial person. This is what happened to me. I was a very lonely 5 year old. I stayed home alone most of the time. I wasn't able to socialize with people properly. I tried throughout my life, but I am 100% what Jordan is saying.