The Better Boarding Method Airlines Won't Use

I feel like he wrote this script while waiting to board a plane.

“to achieve this ballet, there are no boarding groups…” magnificent

If you wanted the slowest possible method of boarding, front to back seems decent enough, but doing the Steffen method in reverse seems ideal. Front to back, don't alternate, seated from the aisles out to the window. Maximises seat shuffling, minimises pullaways and parallels. Call it the Steffen Corrupted.

Having worked in aviation for years (cabin crew for many) I can’t even begin to explain how badly normal people who ordinarily excel in everyday life seem to completely loose all sense of intelligence the moment the enter an airport.

"The human inability to follow instructions is breathtaking". That aged well.

“You cant just open the boarding gate and let everyone flock in like cattle” UK: watch

As an airline pilot let me give you my 2 cents. Passengers don't slow down loading, cargo baggage does. The time it takes to get people's bags under the aircraft takes forever. The passenger will actually board before their bag goes through all the extra security on it's way to the plane.

As an airline pilot, I can say that the turnaround time is not normally limited by passenger boarding or deplaning. The refueling and cargo/bag loading take longer and limit the time. My opinion is that fewer rules to follow will give customers less to worry about.

Have the flight attendant crack a whip every time someone takes more than 5 seconds putting in their luggage

I liked the hand sanitizer after the high fives at 2:00.

You forgot to factor in the limited overhead storage that the rear passengers use in the front as they pass by. Thereby making front passengers look for space further in and then have to swim back upstream against the traffic flow to get to their seat.

Shout out to the guys who only bring 1 bag and literally sit in their seat and then slide the backpack under their seat. You are Steffen Perfect

"The human inability to follow instructions is breathtaking."

How bad was ur flight man

When boarding a domestic flight in Australia, as you enter the aerobridge, there is a sign which directs rows 1-15 to continue along the aerobridge and board the aircraft through the front door, and rows 15+ to walk down the stairs out onto the apron and board using the rear stairs, filling the plane from both ends.

It is funny to think that no boarding system at all is superior to every boarding system used by airlines today.

I have flown a lot in my 58 years and I will say the real problem began when airlines started charging extra for luggage. Suddenly everyone had carry-ons and this slowed boarding down dramatically. I remember the day when the only thing I took on the plane was my handbag, which I stowed under the seat in front of me after I was seated.

Actually, the first encounter I ever had with boarding groups was on a flight to the US. All flights I have had before, mainly in Europe, were what you describe as: "Hey guys, plane's ready."

i just went on a flight recently and they said: “boarding groups 1-4, 5, 6, everyone get on” and it was the fastest i’ve ever gotten on a plane and it made me think of this haha

I was on a flight a few months ago and they had a different method where the plane had a door at the front and one at the rear. So it went front to middle and back to middle simultaneously. Seemed like a smart idea, except for the fact that you inevitably got people near the back who entered from the front, or vice versa, and all of a sudden you had an even larger traffic jam than before, since now both lines were getting stopped by whatever random person didn't enter from the correct door and was trying to move against the flow...