Are you in a one-sided relationship? Esther Perel

So eloquently explained. Thank you Esther.

The "barely notices" got me 😞

I’m 7 years into a relationship, we’ve lived together the whole time. I’m exhausted. I do as much as I can for him but finally coming to terms that I’m not receiving anything back, at all.

That's when you WALK away. If the plant is dead... No amount of water can make it come alive again.

8 years of this and explaining it to my partner. he still does not get it. he says we have no couple issues. of course not for him. i truly pay attention, see him and demonstrate it. after 8 years here, now is on me, i guess.

We have to see out their eyes. When we see what they see, they see what we see, our vison is united, shared, excited, engaged- "Two sided", I guess? When one sees only their own goals, it's "one sided".

And thats exactly why i ran like the wind after 1 whole year of that

Exactly

So helpful

Great education of awareness!! 😮😮

Yes, this is real. If you don’t feel your loved ones with you even when you are apart, what even is that?

Amen , goeie preek , Esther ! U got that right !

Spot on

Yes, exactly 😮

Thank You Loads

Unless both people put in the effort, the relationship dies. Most logically thinking people understand that when they enter the relationship, but as time goes on they take it for granted. Both men and women. Sometime couples are fine as they have satisfying life outside of marriage and don’t need that much physical connection. For those who need connection this is a disaster.

I only exist to take care of the laundry, feeding the family, doing the dishes - I wish I got as much attention as her smartphone. Hasn't touched me in 8 years - not interested.

I know Esther. The first reason you gave the relationship was failing and you going to start the obstacle game, in front of Bill Maher, was your man was just sitting there, ignoring you on the phone. You said, that’s the way it is, people just scrolling and scrolling there on the phone. So that is the start of the problem. I remember that without even looking. So, what to do to make it exciting? Masturbation cannot play a role? It’s like my father figure when I was a teenager “I’ll be damned if I’m going to play with myself”. I’ll really have to pay attention, Esther, why can’t you be satisfied? And if indeed, it was the wrong man, why haven’t you found the better one yet? How many times till you realize this “ravishing” is never going to happen. It’s pathological. It’s triangulation. It’s undeserved attention, because you’re making a promise you can’t deliver. If I am a damn good ravisher and I know it? Will I ravish you? Or will you break my heart? Telling me you thought I was sexy, but not enough for you. Maybe Bill Maher could have been a little more gentle, but he said the right things at the right time. If I was Bill Maher, how about I try and satisfy you by brushing your hair? To begin with.

I don't understand.. someone pls explain..

i smell BS and CAP