Esther Perel on The Other AI: Artificial Intimacy | SXSW 2023

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Published 2023-03-31
These last few years have been characterized by prolonged uncertainty when it comes to our health, politics, economy, and beyond. Can you blame us for falling deeper into the siren song of our increasingly predictive technologies? Endless suggestions of what to buy, who to date, what to write, where to turn, and what to listen to next flow right into our palms—fooling us into thinking we have control over this unknowable, messy world. The deluge of perfectly curated feeds doesn't help. Renowned psychotherapist, podcast host, and author Esther Perel wants to know: what is this doing to our relationships? How are our expectations of one another changing? It is possible that “knowing” everything is making us less prepared for the uncertainties and imperfections intrinsic to life and love. Chasing certainty has left us inflexible and socially atrophied. How is this impacting our partnerships, friendships, and communities? Much as we try, we can’t optimize intimacy—or can we?

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All Comments (21)
  • @tomdebevoise
    "Much of life's challenges are not problems that we solve, they are paradoxes that we manage." A brilliant quote from Ester.
  • @fvieirad
    40:22 'every choice carries grief for the option that we didn't choose' 👏👏
  • @corinaspfx
    there should be statues of this woman in every major city
  • @leahkmarshall
    Esther is sublime! At 32:00: "A unique part of intimacy is that when we allow ourselves to truly meet another, we also meet new parts of ourself."
  • Human Esther is an absolute GODSEND. Grateful for her work, in love with her personality.
  • I cried through most of this because when you feel like no one else "gets you" (and humanity), Esther does. She is pure gold.
  • @anavigil7603
    58:35 "I sound super confident, but I am sure of nothing" leads me to respect her even more. She is a wonderful teacher and helper to me through her talks and books. Thank you, Esther and audience.
  • @Stinedarby
    How clearly and beautifully put. I love this quote: Our ability to act freely upon the uncertainty and then see the ripples of our own actions lets us know we are alive. 👏
  • This is a master class in paradoxes and living through very complex times. Thank you allways ❤
  • @videau234
    When a seminar of 59.52 minutes feels like a 30 min talk, then you know the richness of the conversation has been huge, she (and the audience) are awesome! It is such a pleasure listen to her, I would not change it for an AI ;)
  • The segment on Esther's answer about the polarization issue in conversations was worth the entire watch. Thank you.
  • The video demonstrating different responses from the child, when mom either engaged or disengaged, brought tears to my eyes. It touched a part of me that I haven’t been listening to for many years. Thank you for your great work, Esther Perel!
  • @user-jn7mz2iw5i
    Esther is absolutely phenomenal. The arch of her speech, the playfulness, the depth and richness — one of a kind. Loved every minute of this, thank YOU!!!!!
  • @Ezel17
    I always find a huge value in listening to Esther's ideas. Her work is very inspiring and has become a beacon of light in my life. Thank you for sharing this, SXSW-san.
  • @renatasuerth
    Esther just gets what it means to be a human being. Even though she jokes at the end and says, “I sound super confident but I am sure of nothing.” Knowing that you don’t know is a sign of wisdom.
  • @theresas.3808
    She is brilliant! She brings clarity and understanding to relationship dynamics.
  • @elanalalala
    "Digitally facilitated connections are now lowering our expectations of intimacy between humans..."
  • @Herohector
    Esther's work (written and spoken) has been a great aid lately in my life, I treasure her writings greatly.
  • @natashaziv1795
    I loved how she pooled the questions at the end and just focused on answering the best ones. There were a couple questioners who clearly didn't "get it"; she so gracefully maneuvered around confronting them